


Love is not a choice

by justsomeperson



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Brendon Is An Idiot, Cute, Fluff, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Hair Dyeing, Highschool AU, I don't mean horse riding, Josh is "straight", Josh is pierced, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mario Cart, Piano hand jobs, Riding, Ryden mention - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Tyler is loud, Tyler sometimes wears skirts, not even sorry, of course I mean horses, room mates, smutty af, they are not famous, they cuddle a lot, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomeperson/pseuds/justsomeperson
Summary: Highschool AUThe love story of Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph, and how Josh discovers what he actually feels for the skirt wearing, shy boy who suddenly turns his whole world upside down. -will not be continued, but feel free to read as far as you like-





	1. His name is Tyler

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, have fun. I don't own Josh or Tyler even though I wish I would blablabla this is only fictional and if you don't like gay stuff feel free to leave. I sound so mean I swear I'm not lmao.  
> HAVE FUN NOW MY FRENS (no ones gonna read this anyway why am I even writing this)
> 
> If you enjoy Wattpad more, you can also read this story there btw.  
> Wattpad: Imjustsomeperson
> 
> (I'm reworking some chapters atm, so don't wonder if something changes. The story itself doesn't change, nor do the sentences, but my grammar and time mistakes, maybe one or two words.)

And that's how it all begins.

Josh Dun sits there, staring at his empty table,  while hysterical laughter and hectic conversations surround him. It's the first day of school after summer vacation, and Josh's sleeping pattern is totally not cooperating with these early times. The long nights and early mornings really hadn't done much for him. Plus, his hyperactive classmates aren't doing his head a favor. 

"Josh, hey man!". His head snaps up, just to see Brendon storming into the classroom, who also looks like he just woke up. He rushes forward throwing his bag and jacket on the table before him and kneels down besides Josh's chair.

"Man you look like shit", Brendon laughs.

"You have no idea", Josh says as he rubs his tired eyes, letting out a loud yawn. "Where are Patrick, Pete and Ryan anyways?"

"Dunno", Brendon shrugs, looking around in the class room. "They should be here in a couple of minutes. Ryan wrote me they'd be here soon. Something like- AYEE THERE THEY ARE. SQUAD COMPLETE." Brendon jumps up, quickly patting Josh's back.

"Hang on buddy. This is our last year, soon we'll be through this shit." With that he runs towards his just as motivating looking friends, hugging them and acting like they haven't seen each other in years even though the five of them hang out just yesterday.

The minutes pass and the teacher still hasn't started the class yet.  _Great time to get back to sleep,_ Josh thinks and lays down on the table as he tries to blend out the rest that is happening around him. Slowly but surely though, everyone starts wondering what they were still waiting for, not that they want to start but their teacher starts looking nervous and watches the clock every two seconds.

"Jeez what are we even waiting for?", Josh wails. Brendon and Ryan turn around in their chairs, looking just as clueless.

"I'm quite not sure... but I've heard we'd get a-"

 Ryan suddenly gets interrupted by a door flying open, almost giving Josh a heart attack. A brown haired boy stumbles in, mumbling silent apologizes to their teacher who tries to calm him. He looks pretty stressed. The whole class is silent now, examining their apparently new classmate. Josh looks around in class and sees some boys looking at him interested, whereas the girls.... they look like as if they'd eat him whole any moment. Behind him the girls giggled and wouldn't stop talking about how cute and adorable he is, while others already did bets on who he would ask out on a date first. What age are they? 5?

Josh just rolls his eyes, running his hand through his red hair, accidentally getting his bracelet stuck on his nose piercing. This really isn't his day. He just wants to go back to sleep.

"Ok... so, class. This is your new classmate Tyler Joseph", Mrs. Benson introduces him. "Do you want to introduce yourself any further?"

The boys brown eyes quickly roam the room uncomfortably, trying to find the right words. 

"I-I'm Ty-yler... and... uh-h", he stutters as he plays with his fingers, stepping from one foot on another. His voice sounds sweet like honey, a bit raspy and very soft. Almost calming. His fragile yet manly stature only underlines his shyness.

"It's ok Tyler", the teachers whispers apologetic, well she tries to whisper, everyone could hear her anyway. "You can sit down."

Tyler looks up, trying to figure out who he thinks is the least terrifying person here. The aren't many options to sit down though. His scared expression and quick eyes meet Josh's, and in that moment his heart melts. He looks so innocent and Josh just doesn't want people to hurt him. He doesn't know why suddenly and out of nowhere he is so protective, but he just knows that he has to do something.

So he raises his arm, which catches Mrs. Bensons attention. Josh looks at her, and she gives him an understanding nod, looking relieved.

"Tyler, you can sit next to Josh if you want to."

Tyler gives Josh a quick glance, looking even more shy. To his surprise, Tyler walks towards his new place. His classmates start talking silently to each other again, so that Tyler isn't in the center of attention anymore. And Tyler seems very okay with it. He quickly sits down next to Josh and gives him a quick glance, blushing heavily when he realizes that Josh is looking at him too. 

"Hey I'm Josh", he says carefully as the boy sits down next to him.

Tyler looks at him again, brown warm eyes not that scared anymore, so Josh just smiles at him hoping he'd get more comfortable then.

"I'm Tyler", he says hesitantly, not quite looking Josh in the eyes. There is a short silence where Tyler looks like he wants to say something, but then the teacher speaks up anyways.

"I need to check something very quickly, the class will start in 5 minutes." With that everyone starts screaming and talking again. Some girls are still watching Tyler in interest, but still, Tyler seems to be out of the center of attention.

Tyler turns back to Josh, looking him in the eyes. He seems to be at least a tiny bit better.

"Thank you, that- um.. that I can sit next to you."

Josh gives him a confused face, what seems to irritate Tyler.

"Of course you can. I- uh- am just sorry that my classmates seem to be so... you know-"

"Nah I get it, it's ok. Thank you again."

Tyler gives him a small smile that reaches his eyes, and it's just as sweet and warm as his voice. His face in general is very smooth and welcoming, his nose round and pointed, lips pouty and pink. The eyes creamy brown oh so innocent. They remind him of a deer. His eyebrows and short stubbles framed his face perfectly. Josh is straight and all, that's not the thing, still he has to admit that Tyler is indeed very attractive and pretty. Not to be gay or something.

That's when Josh realizes that his eyes roam over Tyler's face interested, causing Tyler to look back at him shyly, and it's Josh's time to blush. The last thing he wants to do, is to make Tyler uncomfortable. He is just too precious for that. 

"Uh, where are you even from? If I may ask."

"From Ohio, so from here, and you?"

"Me too", Josh says. "And uh, why did you change school?" As soon as he drops the question Tyler looks at him terrified, and Josh knows he shouldn't have asked. "Sorry, you don't have to answer."

"Ok... thank you. Sorry"

"No I'm sorry, don't apologize. Uh- hey- do you want me to show you around, like... show you the school and, how things work and stuff?" Tyler's eyes widen in disbelief, tilting his head the slightest.

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah of course man. I mean you can have me as a friend for now If you want, so you aren't lonely and stuff. And when you get to know the other people you can get cool friends", Josh tries with a joke. Tyler eventually laughs at that, eyes crinkling up, his voice getting lighter even more.

"Ok I'd like that. Thank you. I don't want to bother you though, so please tell me when I get annoying.", Tyler says still smiling, but Josh knows he is serious about it. By now they are having full on eye contact. Even when they fall silent, and everyone around them is loud, the keep having eye contact. Very intense for a second, and Josh feels his heart getting heavy in his chest. Shapeless emotions suddenly well up in him. But as quickly as it came it is over. Josh quickly turns around, only to see Brendon who gives him a cheeky grin and wiggling eyebrows.  _Fuck you Brendon. Just because you are gay, doesn't mean everyone else is too._

"Ok cool, soo uh-", Josh stumbles confused but then gets interrupted my Mrs. Benson who announces the start of their new school year. Tyler and Josh quickly exchange peeks before turning back to face their teacher.

"Last year man, let's do this".

\-----

"So... where do you wanna go?", Josh asks Tyler while walking down the hallways. They just finished school so Josh is planning on showing Tyler one or two things. It's something around 3pm and they just ate a sandwich that Josh bought them while Tyler had talked to a teacher. Tyler insists on giving Josh the money back, but Josh just waves him aside and made clear it is ok, answering: "I may be poor, but I'm not that poor". Tyler chuckles at that and eats the sandwich in silence.

"I don't know", Tyler answers Josh's earlier question. Throughout the day, Tyler seems to have gotten way more comfortable around Josh and his surroundings, and Josh really hopes that Tyler feels more save with him at his side. The boy still doesn't talk much, but you really couldn't blame him for that. Who wouldn't be shy at their first day at a new school?

But now they casually walk side by side, had already checked out their lockers (which were almost next to each others). Josh showed Tyler the secretary, cafeteria and other important shit you should know about. Tyler earned some views himself in that time too, if it were pejorative looks from boys, or overexcited flirty ones from girls once more. Every time that happened, Tyler had gotten a bit more quiet and a bit more shy, so Josh just gave those people warning faces so that they'd hopefully back up. Tyler then, always walked a bit closer to him and mumbled silent  _"thank you's"_  and was in general very thankful. Precious boy.

"Josh", Tyler suddenly says next to him, his voice cracking at the beginning. This is the first time Tyler called him by his name, and to his surprise, he really likes the sound of it. Not to be gay.

"Tyler?"

"You know you don't have to do this. People will judge you.", he says glancing at Josh.

"What?"

"You don't have to walk around with me. People will-"

Josh stops abruptly and Tyler bumps right into him, what might have been their first physical contact. He faces Tyler again who looks at him in all seriousness.

"No Tyler. It's ok. Please... please don't worry about it, ok? I'm serious."

Tyler looks at him like he doesn't understand Josh's kindness. But Josh does understand why. He knew it when Tyler came into the class. The worried expression, the trembling, the eyes full of fear. Josh understand what anxiety feels like. Josh knows what Tyler's anxiety had felt like when he had entered the classroom. Josh just wants to help.

Somewhere in between small talk and worried thoughts about Tyler from Josh's side, they make it to the secretary because Josh still needs his new room number.

"You know", Josh explains while waiting for the secretary to get the room key, "the school did built a complete new campus area. That's the new high school area apparently, because almost everyone I know from my classes have a new room there. Plus, my old room mate moved to California so I need a new room mate anyways."

The school they go to is a special school. They can choose major classes, in Josh's (and eventually in Tyler's) case it's music, and in general they get a slightly different education. Everything is more expensive and different and not as close to home as regular schools. That is the reason why every student got their rooms on the campus.

"Why don't you share a room with Brendon or the rest?"

"They already have room mates. This is the last year anyway, so I was like... screw it just randomly give me a room-mate".

"You know... You could be paired with a psychopath or something", Tyler says smirking slightly. Josh gives him a quirky smile before answering.

"Well, then at least something at school would be interesting."

"True."

In that moment Josh is handed his new room key plus the number and a map where to go (huge campus). They thank the secretary and start walking towards the new campus area.

"But... why does everyone has to move on the first day of school. It'd be way better if you had time to do it during summer vacation", Tyler says curiously.

"Dunno. I already packed my stuff anyways, just have to get it over. Hopefully it doesn't take that long."

"But wait", Tyler stops them. "First of all we should have a look where your room is. Your new room."

"Oh, right", Josh says and digs his hands deep in his pocket trying to find the paper with the number written on it.

"Mine is... I think it was... OD-224", Tyler says, checking his own piece of paper to make sure it's right. "Yeah OD-224."

Josh freezes. 

"Man you are kidding me right?"

Tyler looks at him confused, brows furrowed.

"Why should I?" That's when Josh shows him his piece of paper with the exact same number like Tyler's written on it. Tyler's eyes widen in shock, before looking at Josh. And suddenly he breaks out in a warm happy toothy smile, and Josh's heart melts once more. "Dude, that's awesome". Then his smile falters. "I mean, it's awesome if that is ok for you."

Josh just breaks out in a big smile, and he doesn't know why he is so happy about it since he has known this guy for a day. He just knows he is.

"No... I mean, that's freaking awesome!" He stumbles forward, giving Tyler a short hug, patting his back slightly. He feels Tyler's arms creeping around his back and waist. Tyler himself may look fragile, but to Josh's surprise these arms are everything but weak. In that moment he also realizes that he is the slightest bit taller than Tyler.

"It couldn't have been any better", Josh admits. Tyler blushes slightly at that as Josh sees when breaking away from their hug. They make their way to their new room, chatting about different things, and not only Tyler seems to feel relieved but Josh does too. Now he feels like he could take care of Tyler properly, make him feel better. He already started opening up to Josh way more and faster than Josh had expected him to. Maybe this year wouldn't suck that much, Josh thinks. Maybe he'd find a really good friend in Tyler, maybe things would end up differently.

\-----

The both of them stand in front of their door, Josh holding the keys in his hand. They boys exchange a smile, before Josh drops the keys into Tyler's hand. Tyler looks at him in surprise.

"Why did you give me the key? Just open already", Tyler laughs.

Josh turns to face him, faking a British accent. "Tyler Joseph, the honor of opening the door to our luxurious chamber is all yours."

"You remembered my last name", Tyler chuckles and flushes slightly.

"'Course I did."

"I don't even know your last name".

"Oh", Josh says and puts his hand in the air for Tyler to shake it. "Joshua William Dun."

Tyler gives him his crinkle eyed smile again, eyeing Josh's hand before taking it hesitantly. "Tyler Robert Joseph."

And in that moment, Josh's heart skips a beat, shapeless emotions filling him up once more. And he knows he shouldn't feel what just welled up in him. But he does feel it. And he doesn't know what that means. But he just shouldn't feel this.


	2. Skirts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE YOU GO-I hope you enjoy, I'm a mess bye

Almost a week has passed now, since Tyler and Josh had moved into their new room. Not much has happened during that time, the both of them were pretty much busy with school. What also meant that Josh's and Tyler's boxes of furniture and other stuff was lying around the room. Tyler though, had spend his week with many vocal lessons while Josh was over at Brendon's and Ryan's or Patrick's or Pete's room, or the five of them just hang out somewhere randomly. Josh had even invited Tyler to come and join them. but he didn't want to yet, being quite happy with only Josh by his side. Tyler still was very shy in school and around other people. To Josh on the other hand... he was surprisingly way more open. 

On Tuesday and Wednesday, when his voice had been completely tired and raspy from all the singing, Tyler would come in and just start talking. He would talk about singing and music, and Josh would just listen to his strained voice and admired his childish enthusiasm. Sure, Tyler did ask Josh if he bothered all the talking, and if he even cared what Tyler was talking about. So Josh, day for day, made Tyler clear that he wasn't annoyed or anything. Tyler still hadn't seemed so sure about it, so Josh had started talking about himself too and Tyler had listened carefully, nodding along the way. His brown eyes hadn't looked away once.

On Wednesday they had ended up on Josh's bed learning for math, and if Tyler had felt kind of insecure or shy, Josh hadn't realized. They had joked around a bit and Tyler drew Josh a heart on his hand while he was bored during the late night learning session. It's Friday now, and the heart is still there. 

"Jishwa I'm here", Tyler says as he enters the room, looking at Josh lying in his bed lazily. Josh looks up from his phone, making a funny face.

"Jishwa?", Josh laughs sitting up, not expecting Tyler to call him by a nick name.

"Yeah." Tyler throws his bag aside, falling right into bed, head first and then groans. Josh looks over to his friend who seems to be tired and extremely delighted to lay and do nothing for now. Josh snorts, throws his phone aside and walks over to his bed to sit on the side, next to Tyler. The bed sinks in a bit, and Tyler seems to notice Josh by his weight on the bed and turns his head to the side, leaving him with a squished face. Josh pats his back slightly what causes Tyler to smile sweetly.

"'Sup man?", Josh asks, hand still on his back.

Tyler rolls over on his back, what eventually causes his shirt to ride up to his bellybutton, exposing his softly tanned skin. The band of his underwear is even visible so that Josh could see the even even surface of his belly. The urge of reaching out and drawing pattern on his flesh overcomes him, but he refrains himself from actually doing it. Would be kind of weird too, not only for Tyler but for Josh. Still, he couldn't help the image that comes with the thought, and the idea of the warmth and smooth skin he'd feel.

"Jishwa"

"Huh?"

"Wake up from you daydream".

Josh blinks a couple of times before shaking his head. Tyler looks at him with sleepy, yet interested brown deer eyes.

"I- uh- sorry", Josh says bluntly. He then realizes he had stared and blushes slightly, not quite understanding why he suddenly thought  _that_. He had cached himself thinking quite much about Tyler the past week, but it's never been like  _this_. Of course he thinks about Tyler, he has worried about how he'd do because he wants him to be comfortable. Does that sound weird for someone you've known for almost a week? Definitely. Still, these weird thoughts won't come back, Josh is certain.

"You wanted to say something", Josh encourages him. "Tell me." 

Tyler lays his hand on his chest running it down to where the hem of his shirt had rode up, pulling a bit on it. Josh also has no clue why he examines every move Tyler does, this is just weird,

"Look at the all the unpacked boxes laying around. All I want right now is Taco Bell and sleep. I don't wanna move Jish."

"You really love the name Jishwa, don't you?"

Tyler giggles, face lightening up before sitting up so their legs were touching. The parts where they touched felt like they were burning.

"Ya."

"Can I give you a nick name too?", Josh asks jokingly.

"Sure, Jish."

"I swear call me Jish one more time, I dare you- or..."

"Jish", Tyler giggles covering his beautiful smile with one hand.

Josh laughs and makes a fast grabbing motions forward. Tyler eventually tries to dodge Josh playfully, but ends up sliding down his own bed. Almost. Before Josh could even think, his hands rush forward holding Tyler's waist. His t-shirt was still exposing his belly, so Josh was touching nothing but bare hot skin. Tyler quickly grabs the part of Josh's shoulder that connects to his neck, putting the other hand on his chest. Not his full hand, but fingertips were softly laying on that part of Josh's chest where his heart lays under. Josh is certain that Tyler could feel his quick heartbeat.

Tyler watches him in shock, his body somewhere in between falling and sitting. Josh looks just as shocked, only paying attention the feeling of skin on skin and the intensive brown tone of Tyler's eyes.  _Stop thinking about this Josh._ So he quickly pulls Tyler on the bed and let's go, his hands now feeling a different kind of empty.

"So-", Josh clears his throat. "Shall we start unpacking?"

The crimson blushing Tyler agrees and stands up, looking overwhelmed himself. And Josh couldn't stop thinking if Tyler had just felt the same way.

\-----

Hours have passed, and now the both of them find themselves sitting on the floor at 4pm, unpacking and listening to Arctic Monkeys. Tyler sings along a bit, and Josh listens more to that than to the actual music playing. Someday Josh would ask Tyler to sing for him.

Josh has finished unpacking and decorating already, and sits on the ground next to Tyler who tells him stories to half of the items he pulls out of his boxes. It's amazing how quickly they became attached to each other. They listen to the same music, like the same food, have the same opinion so far, so it's probably just natural that Josh is so happy about his new won friend. 

"Wait a second", Josh excuses himself quickly and stands up to get his phone. He eventually spots a box that isn't lying around Tyler's mess of cartons. It stands on the edge of Ty's bed. The box is dangerously close from falling off the bed though.

"Tyler, I think you missed a box", Josh says and points at the half open carton. Tyler turns around and surprisingly makes a weird face when he sees what Josh means, as if he just got exposed or something.

"Eh- yeah- I'll get it later."

"Do you want me to bring it to you?"

"No no no that's not necessary. I mean thank you but- I'll do it later", Tyler says waving Josh aside hectically.

"Ok", Josh says hesitantly, accepting his friends decision even though he doesn't understand why.

As if he has no other choice than regarding the box, he accidentally walks against the side of Tyler's bed, causing the box to fall. Tyler sees it and jumps up quickly, running toward the box, eyes wide in horror.

"Oh no I'm sorry, I'll pick it up", Josh says apologetic as he lifts the box. The heavy material inside pushes against the opening, and of course, the box splashes open and all of Tyler's stuff covers the floor. First Josh doesn't understand why Tyler acts to protective around the carton, well, the carton filling, but now he sees it.

Skirts and crop tops all over.

"Josh, what-", Tyler's says anxiously, voice cracking at the beginning. He starts to sob slightly, eyes already glassy, and- shit he is about to cry because of Josh. He is the reason. And the way he had just pronounced Josh's name- shit.

"Tyler- Tyler- please, no. I'm sorry", Josh says and stands there like an idiot not knowing what to do while Tyler stands in front of him waiting for Josh to react to _this._ It hurts him so much to see Tyler cry.

"Don't cry please, I'm sorry. I mean you can cry but- sorry I'm an idiot", Josh says and just pulls Tyler into a tight hug. Tyler's arms hang loosely around Josh's waist while Josh hugs him tightly, rubbing small circles on his back. Josh fears that Tyler would push Josh away, but when he felt Tyler's arms around him, he knows he's ok.

Sometimes you don't have to know why someone is upset, but only what you can do against it. Though, this time, it's very clear why Tyler cries. Hot tears touch Josh's skin and he feels so, so sorry. Josh does understand what Tyler goes through, though. Not this situation in particular, but the anxiety that comes with it. The anxious thoughts of what others would think of you. The fear of getting judged, of not getting accepted. Josh does not judge Tyler for wearing these kind of things. Nor does he judge him for crying. It's like, even if he tries to judge Tyler, he couldn't.

"Josh."

"Yeah?", Josh says as he pulls away looking in Tyler's watery eyes. There aren't many people who look beautiful crying, but he-  _Josh no, don't think this._

"Do you hate me now?", Tyler sniffs. Before Josh could think he wipes away Tyler's tears with his thumb, feeling the warmth and softness of his cheeks. Josh furrows his brows.

"What? Because you seem to like wearing skirts. No. I still like you the same. I told you not to worry about this stuff too much. Be yourself around me, ok? Always."

Tyler smiles now, relief written clearly on his face. "You like me?"

Josh laughs patting Tyler's shoulder now. "Of course man. You are my fren now".

"So we are frens?"

"Yeah, if you want to."

"I'd love to", Tyler says under his breath.

"Ok then", Josh smiles and let's go of Tyler completely. "Uh- I know this sounds weird. But if you feel more comfortable with skirts, feel free to wear them, like, around me, I won't judge you. Wear anything you want to, honestly." Josh looks at the pile of clothes on the floor, spotting a short dark blue skirt. The image that comes with the thought, once again was nothing he should think about. Tyler, short skirt, long legs, crop top...  _NOPE JOSH DON'T._ The thought of Tyler in skirts in general make him feel a certain kind of way. And the image that increases slowly but surely in his head shouldn't be put in words because it'd very fucking gay. And Josh isn't very fucking gay. Josh is very very very straight.  _I'm straight. You, Joshua WIlliam Dun, like girls._ But why is his stomach feeling warm and mind fuzzy then.

"Ok, thank you", Tyler says. "I really appreciate that. And uh- you know..." Tyler fidgets with the hem of his shirt, trying to find the right words before Josh cuts him off.

"You don't have to say more buddy. I won't tell anyone. But you know, I think it'd be the best if you keep unpacking your stuff alone. Like- I swear I'm not creeped out, but maybe you finish unpacking and I'll get us Taco Bell, and then we watch a movie. Sounds like a plan?", Josh suggests.

"Yeah, I'd love that", Tyler says wiping away the last tears. "Thank you"

"Ok awesome, I'll be back in about 2 hours or so, don't have too much fun without me", Josh says, taking his bag pack and jacket.

"See ya later Ty."

"Bye Jishwa."

And nothing has changed between them. Except for one inappropriate image more of Tyler on Josh's side. Josh really has no problem with Tyler wearing skirts. Sure, he has to get used to it first, but in general, it doesn't bother him. Not the slightest. The only thing that bothers him is...well- Tyler. The way Josh thinks about him. The way Josh feels so strange around him. It's probably only because he's excited about their new friendship. That has to be it. Josh, at least has to make himself believe that's how it is. Deep down, he knows it's not why he feels that way. He can't admit his feelings. Probably because he doesn't even know what to admit. _What are his feelings._  His head and thoughts spin like crazy. He doesn't know what to think anymore.

And that is exactly why he needs distraction. Do the normal things, do it like at the beginning of the week.  _Hate school, and don't be excited when it comes to school just so you can hang around with Ty again._ So Josh gets his phone out and writes Brendon a text message that he'll be there in five minutes.

\-----

Normally libraries really weren't the place to go for Josh. They were always too silent, too ordinary and just a place he only went to when he needed to study. In his free time- nope never. So Josh just knew something was wrong with himself when he suggests Brendon to go and chill at the library.

**Brendon: Rly man? library?**

**Josh: Ik ik, just want to talk a bit**

**Brendon: yk libraries are there so you do not talk**

**Josh: got a better idea?**

**Brendon: wanna go 2 a bar?**

**Josh: nah, 2 loud n noisy, lets go somewhere silent**

**Brendon: You good man?**

**Josh: yeah, just don't feel outgoing today**

**Brendon: chill in park?**

**Josh: sounds good**

**Brendon: im there in 10**

That's how they end up in the campus park, studying a bit. Brendon doesn't ask why Josh behaves so weirdly, he just asks him what he wants to do. And Josh, who just needs distraction for now, suggests to learn. Brendon gives him a questioning face, but once again he did not ask. So they just sit there and Josh enjoys the silence emphasizing him, listens to the people around them and lets the nature do it's work. Still, thoughts of Tyler rush through his head over and over. Images of him, his voice, everything. And slowly but surely, Josh is really really scared. He doesn't want to think of him in this way. 

Brendon seems to notice that Josh is distracted and starts waving his hand in front of his face. Josh's head snaps up from the point he had just stared at and looks at Brendon in confusion. 

"Hey man what's up with you?", Brendon asks confused. His face looks like he's trying to find an answer in Josh's face, but the only thing he seems to find is a blank space. 

"Nothing, just thinking", Josh waves Brendon aside, shifting in his seat uncomfortably as he grabs his water bottle. Brendon just shrugs and goes back to his exercise. Josh is relieved when Brendon seems to have let go of that topic, but then he looks back up, dark brown eyes nauseous.

"Is Tyler gay?" 

Josh's head snaps up in shock and starts choking on his water heavily. Did Brendon really just say that? Plus, why the hell would he ask out of nowhere? It's no secret that Brendon is into boys, but he has never asked Josh something like this directly. Brendon's relationships have always ever been his thing, he has never dragged anyone into a conversation like this. Not that he knows at least.

"Why do you ask?", Josh asks trying to calm his voice. His hands starts shaking slightly. Has Brendon noticed everything?

"Just...", Brendon says running his hands through his rich black hair. "He is very cute. Maybe I'll ask him out."

Josh feels as if somebody has punched him in his guts, suddenly feeling very overprotective.

"Why should he be gay? He isn't", Josh says passive-aggressive. Brendon will under no circumstances ask him out.

"Man, was just a question, sorry. I just- I could've sworn he is gay. Bi at least. Forget what I just said", Brendon says, trying to end their awkward encounter.

They both go back to their exercises, and then Josh realizes it. Tyler has never ever said something about his sexuality. He wears skirts, but straight guys can wear skirts too. But then it's Tyler. Shy, small, cute, innocent Tyler. Is it possible that Tyler is gay? Then maybe, he could go out with Brendon, couldn't he? Josh furrows his brows and this weird feeling comes back. No, he does not want Tyler to date Brendon. But that's probably because Brendon's relationships have never ended good. And he doesn't want his two friends to get hurt does he? Maybe Josh would find Tyler a nice girlfriend. But as soon as he thinks that, he shoves the thought away.  _Nobody is gonna date Tyler._

Josh just feels sick and upset now, because he knows the reason why nobody is supposed to date Tyler. He knows it, but he can not let the thoughts win. He can't. He's into girls. Always been. So he just stands up and takes his bag pack.

"Eh- thanks for hanging out, I'll head over to my room, I guess." Brendon looks up to him, smirking slightly.

"Ok do that, say your crush hi from me." Josh stomach drops once more, and he let's out a shaky  _fuck you Brendon_  as a goodbye. He turns around, hearing Brendon laugh as he makes his way to his room. He knows he'd encounter Tyler, but he forgot his money when he left so he'll just go inside quickly, get what he needs, and leave again. Plus he can't avoid Tyler forever. And he doesn't want to avoid him, that's not it. It's just... His thoughts are stuck in between avoiding him forever and locking him up so he can have Tyler all to himself. Josh notices he's overthinking again, and stops himself as he pulls his keys out of his pocket and opens the door.

"Ty I'm back, I forgot my money I-", Josh starts, but then he sees Tyler. And oh boy does he see Tyler. The boy stands there, looking as innocent as ever, but this time the short blue skirt Josh had fantasized about hung loosely under his hipbones. And it's so so short. And Josh has never ever felt such a strong urge to kiss somebody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is soooo very appreciated. Any suggestions for the story line? Write them in the comments. THENK YEW
> 
> (Josh may or may not get off to Tyler in skirts next chapter OOPS)


	3. First moves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S GETTING SEXY GUYS  
> but sad (a tiny bit)  
> AND FLUFFEHHHYY

Tyler stands there, hands pressing down his skirt as he looks at Josh insecure. And Josh tries so freaking hard not to stare. So hard. Still, his eyes wander up and down Tyler's body, his eyes getting stuck on his skirt every time. He imagines what it'd be like to put his hands on Ty's smooth thighs, how he'd stroke them, how he would rub circles on them. That's also the first time he imagines how Tyler would moan under his touch, how Ty would buck up his hips and how the skirt would expose more and more of his skin.  _How much he would want Josh_. Josh would run his hand upwards, slowly gliding his hands under his skirt to Tyler's crotch area, and Tyler would shiver and beg for more. Tyler would be all his.

Josh's thoughts overcome him, they mess with his head. He doesn't know if this is a dream or a nightmare, he doesn't know where up and down is. The only thing he knows is that his body reacts to it while his mind tries so desperately to push the thoughts away. His breath starts getting heavier and heavier the more he thinks about, his pants getting tighter and tighter. He's somewhere in between scared and aroused, and he doesn't know if he should be disgusted of himself or fuck Tyler right here and now.

"Josh is it really ok that I wear skirts- I mean", Tyler starts and fidgets with the hem of his skirt, what only causes the skirt to appear shorter. If Tyler would pull it a tiny bit more up, Josh would definitely see his underwear. He draws his attention back to Tyler's face, only to see him with a pinkish flushed face.

"Y-yeah, sure. I'm not used to it but I definitely do not hate it- so... so just- wear them yes", Josh admits breathy and kind of embarrassingly. 

"Ok", Tyler says and turns around to get something. "I'm done unpacking so I'll run over to the grocery shop quickly. You get Taco Bell and we meet in an hour?"

Tyler bends over to grab his bag, and if someone wants to punish Josh, Tyler's skirt does ride up a bit so that Josh could see the half of his butt. Not only that, but his panties. Tyler Joseph is wearing fucking panties under his skirt. Josh's pants were already too fucking tight, and now _that_. He can't help but stare, can't help but think what he'd do to him. That he'd wreck him, make him scream, fuck him in his fucking skirt. Josh desperately wants to shove his hand down his own pants, but since Tyler is still here he of course can't do that.

Josh looks down his pants and sees the bulge in his them. As Tyler turns around again, Josh quickly folds his hands in front of his pants trying to cover his obvious problem. He accidentally touches his groin what causes Josh to moan in the back his throat, so he quickly turns the moan into a choke. Tyler looks at him curious, and Josh just presses his lips together, trying to forget about his warm stomach and dizzy mind. He is horny as hell.

"You ok?", Tyler asks as he takes a pair of jeans he'll probably switch into now because he's going to go shopping. 

"Uh- yes, I- I feel weird today- kind of", Josh says dumbly. 

"Ok then... Tell me if I can help you then. I quickly change into my pants and then I'll be off." With that Tyler disappears into the bathroom. 

Josh sits down on his bed and waits for Tyler to go so that he could use the bathroom. Thoughts of Tyler rush through his head once more, and the more Josh admits that he  _wants_  Tyler, the more it scares him. He wants to cry because he doesn't understand. He's known this guy for a week, and yet he feels so connected to him. This has never happened to him. Why is he so affected by him, what does he do to Josh's body? He's not gay. Josh isn't gay. There must...- there _has_  to be a simple explanation. Maybe it's because he's never slept with anyone before, Maybe it's because the last time he's jerked off was three months ago. Yes, he's had a girlfriend two years ago, he was 17 back then, but the only thing they did was kissing. Maybe that is why Josh is so easy to affect right now. Maybe he just needs a girlfriend.

Tyler comes out of the bathroom after the 2 longest minutes of Josh's life and throws the dark blue sin on his bed. You could literally see the question marks above Tyler's head when he looks back to Josh, but he still doesn't want to ask Josh what the real deal is. Josh knows Tyler does not want to pressure him.

"Ok Jishwa, see ya later." With that Tyler leaves the room, and Josh swears, he's never run that fast to a bathroom. He quickly locks the door before sitting on the toilet lid. He makes sure Tyler has left, but he hears nothing so he takes a deep breath out and puts his head in his hands. He shouldn't freaking be doing what he's about to do now. He shouldn't get off to the thought of Tyler in skirts. Tyler is probably the most innocent person he's known so far, it'd be as if he gets off to a puppy. Plus, they are friends and Josh isn't freaking gay. He just hasn't touched himself in a while, that is it.

So he stands up and shoves his pants down, fabric angrily rubbing against his sensitive area. The moan that follows is desperate and nothing but needy. He's never been the person to get off loudly, but now he feels like he can't hold it back. Loving the sensation that builds up in his stomach, he starts pressing his hand down against his clothed dick, moaning even louder than before. He feels the heat, the pleasure and the feeling of _want_.  _Need_. He could easily say that he just gets off to have done it again, after these three months. That after this scenario, he'd just leave the bathroom and he could go on like before. But right now, pictures of Tyler flood Josh's head, and he sees nothing but Tyler. He gets off because of Tyler, he is the reason for Josh's hard cock. Tyler's smile, Tyler's skirt, Tyler's everything influence him so badly. He knows when he's done jerking off, he'd feel guilty. He's going hate himself, because he should get off to a girl. Not a boy. Not Tyler.  _This is not right_. He couldn't do that to Tyler. He shouldn't act gay, because he is not. Still, his mind is screaming that he is lying to himself, that he should accept himself, but Josh can't do that. Josh just can't be gay.

Josh's eyes start to water, and he hates himself, but he keeps rubbing against his dick. His head fills with Tyler's voice, Tyler's moans, and the more Josh listens to it, the more he wants to cry, but the more does his body react to it. He tries to take a random picture of a girl to get off, but he can't, images of his room mate keep coming back.

He drags his thumbs deeper in his underwear, slowly stroking his cleat until he shivers and breaths like crazy. His dick was fully pressing against his underwear now, leaking with pre come. And that's only because he touches himself to images of Tyler. Poor, sweet Tyler. If he only knew Josh was teasing himself for him,  _so prepared for Tyler. So prepared to take him._

And then a sudden wave comes over him and he thinks fuck it, and wraps his hand around the base of his dick. Josh throws his head back, moaning Tyler's name countless times. He is so freaking loud, and it is so freaking embarrassing, but he needs Tyler right now. He does not only need Tyler in a sexual kind of way, Josh just knows he  _needs_  Tyler. Josh needs Tyler to be his.  _But Josh you're not gay, your are not._

He pushes his underwear further down, cold air hitting his dick as he keeps stroking himself like crazy. He closes his eyes and pretends that this is Tyler. That Tyler would sit there and tease him, hand on his cock, breathing hot air against it, that Tyler would laugh and would ask if he could take Josh, _take all of him_. And Josh keeps moaning like a needy hoe that is so desperate for attention. But nobody hears him. He's alone in that bathroom. Tyler wouldn't hear him, Tyler's eyes wouldn't be blown and he wouldn't look up to him, lips all pink and pouty from giving Josh blow jobs. Tyler wouldn't ask Josh to fuck him, to wreck him until he's a screaming mess. Josh is never going to see Tyler on his knees, his hand shoved under his skirt while he gets off to Josh's sound. Josh was never going to see Tyler's sex hair. But Josh wants him to. He wants it so fucking badly. All of it.

Josh feels himself getting close, eyes still watery from the hatred he feels for himself. The image of Tyler sitting on Josh's naked body with nothing but his dark blue skirt on finally pulls him over the edge. And it is so extremely embarrassing.

"Ty-ler", Josh screams loudly, voice cracking. With that he comes all over his pants and boxers, trying to muffle the sounds that follow with his hand clutched over his mouth. His chest feels heavy, his body relieved and fresh, whereas his mind is a complete wreck of questions. He just gotten off to a guy. To a freaking guy. To innocent Tyler. 

He pants, face red and flushed while his hand and legs were covered in his cum. Josh slides down the bathroom door, letting his tears flow. And he cried and cried and cried, until he remembers to get up because he promised Tyler to get Taco Bell. That's the only thing he can do right now.

\-----

It's Wednesday by now, and Josh, Tyler and their group of friends sit on a table in the cafeteria. They are eating something before they have their next class and talk a little. Well, the others talk, Josh just sits there and listens to them while he feels Tyler's side pressing against his own. They are all squished on one table, like always actually, so nobody really cares that they only have little space for themselves. Josh actually cares about the tiny space. Because it's Tyler. It's Tyler's side against Josh's.

Josh can't think about anything else but what has happened on Friday. Every time Tyler smiles at him, every time they talk or even just hang out together, guilt hits him. That day, when they had wanted to watch a movie, Josh had lied to Tyler and had said he was too tired to watch a movie. Tyler's face had faltered, and Josh had went to bed and had kept crying, because he knew Tyler had thought everything was his fault. But how should've Josh explained it to him. How?

After that day... well, that evening, everything had kind of moved on, they had acted normal and had talked to each other like always. Tyler hadn't worn skirts since then though, and Josh still felt sick because Tyler shouldn't have the feeling that Josh doesn't accept him. Tyler knows something is up, even if he doesn't talk about it. Josh knows that Tyler knows. It's obvious.

Speaking of the devil, a soothing hand suddenly lays down on his thigh. Josh jumps slightly and looks up just to see Tyler with a worried expression.

"Hang on buddy, two hours left and then we can do something to cheer you up. I you want to", Tyler offers caring. Josh's stomach fills with butterflies and he can't not smile at Tyler.

"Yeah I'd like that. I'm glad we're done here soon, I hate school", Josh answers actually chuckling right now. Why does Tyler make him so happy? The area where Tyler's hand lays burns, and Josh only wants his hand to stay. He wants Tyler's side to keep pressing into his. He just wants Tyler to stay.

"Is the movie offer still on?", Tyler suddenly asks nervously. Josh is silent for a moment, before he answers.

"Yeah sure, I mean if you want to", Josh says equally nervous. He realizes that they are kind of whispering by now, heads leant in. But Josh really doesn't give a shit right now. It were just him and Tyler right now. No one else but them sitting on a table. The conversations of his friends was just vague mumbling in the background. 

"If you're not too tired, we could watch one tonight. Together?" Josh's heart fastens. Tyler's voice sounds so hopeful but seductive at the same time, and Josh suddenly was really excited and awake.

"I'd love that", Josh tries... kind of flirting back he guesses? A pinkish blush creeps his way onto Tyler's face and Josh feels a second wave of happiness and courage rushing in. Without realizing it, his own hand slowly moves to meet Tyler's on his lap. Probably the first...  _flirtatious?_  move he does on purpose. Tyler's hand goes stiff for a second, and Josh slowly lays his own fingers in between each of Tyler's. The move is so innocent and so soft, if Josh wouldn't look down at his leg, he probably wouldn't even have noticed that there is a second hand laying underneath his own. Their hands stay in that position for a couple of moments, neither of them knowing how far they could go. And to Josh's surprise, he doesn't feel scared or bad, he feels pure satisfaction and affection for Tyler. His negatives thoughts don't come through this time.

The both of them hear someone rushing at their table, and their hands flinch away as quickly as they found themselves. The both look up and the first thing Josh sees is Melanie Martinez. One of the most gorgeous, yet crazy it-girls from their school. She really rarely talks to Josh and his friends, so Josh is kind of curious what she wants. He looks around the table to check if the other ones were just as clueless, but as soon as he meets Brendon's gaze, Brendon brightly grins at him. 

Josh furrows his brows in confusion, and Brendon just grins harder. 

 _"What?",_ Josh mouths tilting his head slightly.

 _"Tyler",_  Brendon mouths back at him, looking back and forth between the two of them. Josh realizes that Brendon had noticed the thing that just happened between Tyler and him, and blushes deep crimson. Brendon wiggles his eyebrows with a smirk on his face, and Josh kicks him under the table what causes the black haired to burst out in laughter.

Melanie stands there, waiting for Brendon to stop laughing. She pouts her lips as he clicks her fingers in front of his face.

"Urie, stop laughing, I'm about to tell you something awesome."

Tyler, Pete, Patrick and Ryan just look at Melanie, whereas Brendon was about to die from laughter. 

"Brendon shut the fuck up", Ryan says pressing his hand over Brendon's mouth.

"You love me though", Brendon giggles underneath his hand. Ryan rolls his eyes and looks back to Melanie who already started talking.

"Ok guys, I throw a party on Friday. The location is like always. Dress however you want, alcohol and good music guaranteed. See y'all on Friday!", with that she leaves. That's all she has to say. Well that was fast. The group looks around, discussing the unspoken question with their eyes.

"I think we should go", Patrick says confidently. "We should do something together before we have to go into "serious-school-mode". We'll won't have much free time because then.... all the learning shit comes up. Guys this is our last year." And Patrick is right with that.

They look around once again, but everyone just hums approvingly. Josh is about to say something when Brendon cuts him off.

"So Tyler, any plans on coming with us?"

Tyler jumps slightly before looking at Josh's best friend.

"Huh, um- I guess I... I think I'll join you", Tyler says hesitantly, glancing at Josh quickly, who glances back in approval.

"Cool. Will you bring someone else? Maybe a girlfriend? A boyfriend?", Brendon asks with a smug grin on his face. Tyler blushes hard at that and Josh feels uncomfortable but nauseous at the same time.  _Tyler can't come with someone. He's with Josh._

"I don't have a boyfriend to come with", he mumbles. And then Tyler looks like he's about to freak out because he just kind of outed himself. Josh's heart stops for a second before pumping as loud as ever. So Tyler  _is_  gay.

Josh lays a soothing hand on Tyler's shoulder. Hopefully Tyler would remind himself that Josh had told him always be himself around him. Hopefully Tyler doesn't think Josh would hate him now. But as soon as his hand touches Ty's shoulder, he relaxes a bit. Josh throws an angry glare at Brendon, who only shrugs.

"No problem kiddo, I'm gay too", Brendon says and Tyler looks confused. He's about to say something but can't find the right words, so while Tyler tries to figure out how to react to that, Josh glances at Brendon.

"Brendon, come with me quickly? We should get something from Mrs. Benson, you forgot?", Josh says impatiently. Of course they don't have to go to Mrs. Benson, but he really needs to talk to Brendon right now.

Brendon theatrically clutches his hand against his forehead, gasping. "RIGHT, I forgot. C'mon Joshie." 

Josh rolls his eyes before dragging the both of them out of the cafeteria. As soon as they get out Brendon grins at him.

"Dude, I won the bet against Ryan. Tyler is gay, I get 10 dollars."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me father for I have sinned but srsly I think this chapter is cute :3 LEAVE FEEBACK KIDDOS THANK Y'ALL HAVE A NICE DAY


	4. Brendon's wisdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THIS CHAPTER IS LONG AND HOPEFULLY CUTE AND HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE IT BYE, I MEAN HELLO ENJOY

"Brendon what the actual fuck?", Josh says upset as they walk down the corridor. Brendon quickly jumps after him, making him stop at someone’s locker by putting a hand on Josh's shoulder.

"Oh come on, I had to figure out if your crush is even gay for you", Brendon winks with a smirk. Josh shoves Brendon's hand away angrily and gives him an even angrier stare.

"Brendon stop it I'm not gay, Jesus Christ. I don't like Tyler in that kind of way, calm the hell down", Josh hisses through his teeth as he looks around hectically to see if anyone hears them. Brendon raises his arms in surrender, being quite shocked.

"Whoa dude, I didn't mean to upset you, chill bro. I thought that maybe you have figured out things between Tyler and you. I mean, come on I may be dumb but I'm not blind, I saw you two flirting on that table."

"We didn't ...flirt", Josh claims. But the longer Josh tells Brendon that he and Tyler didn't flirt, the longer he denies his affection for him, the wronger it feels saying that. The worse he feels trying to convince Brendon.

Brendon frowns and furrows his brows once more. "So you're telling me that it is normal to have eye sex with your friends?"

"We've had no.... eye sex", Josh says frustrated. "Brendon please... I have no feelings for Tyler".  _That is not true Josh._

Brendon looks at him with a kind of sorry and understanding face, before letting out a long breath. "Ok, so... What if I asked Tyler to go with me to that party? What if I asked him to go out with me.... to date me? Is that ok for you? When we get back on the table, can I ask him?"

"NO, I DARE YOU", Josh almost shouts, voice getting stuck in his throat. Some people give them questioning looks, and Josh clutches his hand over his mouth. He realizes what he just confessed Brendon.  _Nobody gets to have Tyler except for Josh,_  and as soon as he thinks that his stomach drops.

"Why though? You don't want him, so I can have him", Brendon says demanding. "You know what, I think I'll just go and ask him". With that he already walks down the corridor. Josh blinks a couple of times before realizing what just happened and rushes after Brendon just to press him against one of the lockers. He grips Brendon's shirt tightly, arms pressed against his chest.

"Brendon, I fucking dare you", Josh says angrily under his breath before letting go of his scared friend, disbelieving that he really just did that. Josh isn't the person who gets angry that quickly, so he himself wonders what the hell just happened. The thoughts in his head go crazy once more, and Josh feels like crying. He props on a locker next to Brendon, lips trembling.

"Oh my god... Brendon I'm so fucking sorry", Josh says putting his head in his hands. "I don't know what's happening to me at the moment, I'm so sorry."

Josh looks up and Brendon looks at him with a smug grin. Josh's face suddenly falls and he punches Brendon hard against his shoulder, who lets out a loud shriek.

"You little ass said that on purpose, didn't you? You weren't even planning on asking Tyler out", Josh asks and breaths out relieved. It actually sounded more like a statement than a question.

"Well... yeah. I'm really sorry Joshie", Brendon says and embraces Josh tightly. "But you really have to figure out what you feel for Tyler. You really have to."

Josh hugs him back loosely, mumbling in his shirt. "I hate you anyways for what you just did you little fucker. But....Brendon- Still, I'm so scared, I don't know what's happening right now." Oh does Josh knows what happens to his body when he thinks of Tyler. So does he knows what happens to his mind when he thinks of Tyler, he just can't put these feelings into words. It where shapeless emotions that seem to haunt Josh, shapeless feelings and desires. It is like having an illness actually. You know the symptoms, but you can't name the illness itself. You don't know how bad the symptoms are, or how long they will stay. Josh feels lost.

"Brendon I dunno", he says pulling out of the hug. "What do I feel?" 

Brendon pats his back, before turning into serious-brendon-urie mode. You know you're fucked when Brendon Urie is serious.

"Do you want to know what I think you feel?"

"Please, yes."

"I think you've never ever fallen for somebody that hard."

\-----

 It's the afternoon by now, and Josh enters Tyler's and his room after what felt like the longest 2 hours in his life. His nerves are on edge at the moment, because he couldn't think about anything else but what Brendon had said earlier.  _I think you've never ever fallen for somebody that hard._ And Josh tries to find out if that is true. 

Josh opens the door and is immediately greeted by a skirt wearing Tyler. So apparently Tyler isn't that insecure anymore. 

"Hey Josh, um- wait a second I'll get a pair of jeans quickly", Tyler says hastily. Ok maybe he is still insecure. Josh instantly smiles when he sees Tyler though. Still, he has to restrain himself from looking down to his skirt. This time he wears a simple black one, what does not mean that Josh doesn't feel a certain kind of way. His eyes quickly roam Ty's body before coming back to his face.

"No please. I told you not to bother wearing skirts around me. I swear I'm ok. You are ok", Josh says encouraging. Tyler fumbles with his fingers nervously, and Josh knows he wants to say something but still hasn't figured out what exactly. So he drops his bag pack next to his bed before sitting down, and watches Tyler.

"Josh- I... Do you hate me... Now that you know?", Tyler asks. 

"What?", Josh bursts out in disbelief. "Ty... Why should I? What are you talking about"

Tyler looks unsure of himself, standing in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do. He sighs and sits down next to Josh then. Josh looks at him, but Tyler avoids his gaze and keeps staring at his hands that lay in his lap.

"You know, because I told Brendon that... I don't...- that I don't have a-  _boyfriend_." Tyler finally meets Josh's gaze, and Josh's hearts aches. The fear in Tyler's eyes hurt Josh, so so much.  How can Josh show Tyler that he is ok? That _this_  is ok. That being gay isn't something to be ashamed of. And then Josh realizes that he himself has doubts, about him being gay, about him liking Tyler. He had attacked Brendon because he had felt offended. He had felt offended of being called gay. 

 _Josh this is so fucking dumb, why shouldn't it be ok to like Tyler._  And he really means that when he thinks it. It is ok to be yourself. Tyler can wear skirts and like guys, because that is what makes him Tyler. And maybe  _liking_  Tyler is a part of Josh too. He always tells Tyler to be himself, so why can't Josh be himself? Why does Josh feel the urge to suppress his feelings.  _Because it's scary._

With that rush of courage, he reaches forward and fully grabs Tyler's hand. _Fuck it_ , they had held hands earlier, they can hold hands now. Josh's fingers slide in between Tyler's soft fragile hand. At first, Tyler hesitates but then his fingers wrap around Josh's hand as well.

There is a moment between them that Josh can't describe. They look at each other, and Josh accepts the emotions that overrun him. He does it for Tyler. He does it for himself. He even does it for Brendon. He feels affection, happiness, relief and acceptance. Acceptance for himself. And last but not least he feels... a sudden urge to stay with him forever. Even if it's just in a friendship kind of way. It may sound ridiculous, but he just wants to be there for Tyler forever, just as much as he wants Tyler to stay with him. He wants to tell Tyler that he is okay, every day, over and over. Wants to make Tyler feel wanted, wants to treat him right.

"Tyler... Never ever apologize for who you are", Josh whispers, and as soon as the words leave his mouth, Tyler reaches forward and hugs the hell out of his life. His small yet strong arms are around his neck and back, tiny hands buried in his pullover. Josh arms sneak around Tyler's waist as well as he buries his face in the crook of Tyler's neck, taking a deep breath. Everything smells like Tyler, and that's everything he thinks of right now. Only Tyler.

They stay like this for a while, before Josh pulls away and looks back at Tyler who seems to be more than satisfied.

"You good buddy?", Josh asks after a moment of silence.

"Yeah I guess, thank you Josh." And Josh wonders once again, is Tyler really somebody he's fallen for?  _I think you've never ever fallen for somebody that hard._ Josh still can't get Brendon out of his head. Sure, they held hands, they may have flirted... but then there's still the question... Does Josh act like _this_  because Tyler has shown him affection when nobody else did, and Josh simply reacts to it? Or does he really have a crush on him? Or is it... more than that? Josh has come to the point where he doesn't want to lie to himself, but that doesn't mean he has a clue what exactly he feels. The only thing he knows is that he acts protective around the brunette, plus he knows he has a problem with the thought, that other people could possibly date him. When Brendon had said he'd ask Tyler out, Josh had went crazy. That reminded Josh of the party this Friday, where Tyler, him and the rest were planning on going. What if Tyler is going to hook up with somebody? That's something Josh couldn't prevent. Or could he?

"Um- by the way. Before I forget it. Are you still planning on going to that party on Friday? With me and the rest?"

Tyler blinks a couple of times. "Eh- yeah I was planning on going... I mean if that's ok."

"Yeah of course it's ok. Um... do you want to go there with me, maybe? Like, we watch our backs and stuff, make sure we survive n stuff?", Josh asks kind of awkwardly. Tyler gives him a lopsided smile, eyes crinkling up.

"Jishwa, I would have watched your back anyway. But yes let's do it." As soon as he says that Josh feels protected, now knowing that Tyler would always keep an eye on him. Make sure he's good. And Josh realizes that he doesn't do differently.

"Why do you still stick to that nickname?", Josh chuckles.

"JISHWA'S THE BEST NAME ON EARTH OK? Lemme live", Tyler says excitedly, as if he's trying to prove his point. "Plus, I'm still waiting for the revenge you were planning on getting."

"I still haven't figured out something, give me time boy", Josh laughs. "But seriously, I have no idea."

"OMG, wait a second", Tyler says and jumps up from the bed, skirt fluttering behind him. He bends down next to his bed and opens his bedroom drawer, getting out two black Nintendo's. Josh jumps up from his bed in excitement, letting himself drop down on Tyler's bed again. Ty clearly seemed to have accepted the thought that Josh is okay with Tyler being Tyler, otherwise he wouldn't jump around that happily. That's all Josh ever wanted. 

"OMG DUDE!", Josh says with the biggest smile on his face. "No way! Have you got Mario Cart?" Tyler looks at Josh as he plops down next to him, with a smile as big as Josh's.

"Omg that's what I wanted to ask you to play. Wanna get a revenge and loose against the Mario Cart king?", Tyler asks challenging. The both of their smiles get even bigger as longer as they look at each other, and Josh's just feels so happy right now.

"Jesus Tyler, if you only knew. I am so going to destroy you!", Josh says and pokes Tyler in his stomach who lets out a loud shriek and shimmies away. Josh opens his mouth in surprise, poking him again.

"Tyler Joseph, you are ticklish?", he says, voice getting higher in the end as he keeps poking in Tyler's stomach. Tyler starts laughing hysterically and takes Josh's familiar hands in his to stop him from attacking his body.

"Jish don't exploit my weakness", Tyler says in between the laughter, but Josh just keeps trying to free his hands from Tyler's grip to tickle him again. Tyler's laugh is just way too precious. 

Josh finally manages to free his hands and goes straight for Tyler's stomach, who by now squeaked like a girl. Apparently Tyler's sides are the most sensitive part, because as soon as Josh's hands find his way there Tyler screams and falls down on his bed. He's now all sprawled out and laughs his soul out, and Josh just thinks it's too funny and cute. 

"Josh... you li-little... asshole", Tyler says breathing heavily, holding his stomach because he was still laughing.

"You called me asshole, want me to continue? Is it that what you're asking for?", Josh asks jokingly and heaves himself up to straddle Tyler's lap. Their crotches are almost touching now, and Tyler blushes a little at that. He takes Josh's wrists to stop him from tickling him again, smiling widely. Tyler's shirt rode up a little, as well as his skirt. And then Josh realizes in what position they actually are. Because now that Josh sees a panting, half naked Tyler in front of him, the incident from last week appears in his head. He remembers how he had sat in the bathroom, and how he had gotten off to exactly that picture of them. This was a complete different situation though, what they were doing right now was anything but sexual. Still, Josh remembers what Tyler's wearing  _under_  his skirts, he remembers everything.

His body seemed to remember too, because he suddenly notices that his pants are tighter than before. And Josh doesn't want that. He doesn't want to use Tyler as an object again, like last week. He couldn't get off to Tyler again, he just couldn't do that to Tyler. That doesn't mean Tyler's smooth stomach isn't tempting Josh. 

"C'mon Tyler, let's play Mario Cart you loser", Josh says to distract him from his thoughts and lays one Nintendo on Ty's naked stomach, who cross-eyes the little black object. Josh thinks cross-eyed Tyler is the most adorable thing in the world.

"Who are you calling a loser", Tyler says as he tries to steady his breath. Josh just laughs loudly and gets off Tyler's lap. He takes the second Nintendo and sits against the wall, so at the head on Ty's bed. 

"First you exploit my weakness, and now you steal my special place on my bed. You are such a cruel person Jishwa", Tyler says and heaves himself up in a sitting position, as he pouts at Josh. Josh grins at his cuteness before pouting back at Tyler.

"Aww, Ty. You may go ahead and sit on the floor", Josh says in fake sympathy. 

"So cheeky today Joshie. Ok, because I'm a nice guy, I give you 10 seconds otherwise I'll just sit against you and then you have to deal with me crushing your bones and lungs", Tyler says in fake politeness. The both of them can't hide their grins though.

"10"

"9"

"8"

"7"

"6"

And Josh just sits there and let's Tyler do the countdown. He can't deny that he wants Tyler's body to lay against his. He can't deny that he wants to embrace the boy from behind. He wants their bodies to melt into one, wants cuddle against him and whispers sweet nothing into his hear.  _I think you've never ever fallen for somebody that hard._

"2"

Tyler looks nervous but excited at the same time. "Josh, last chance to get away."

"1"

"Times up jerk", Tyler says and before Josh sees it coming Tyler's flops down against Josh's upright body, causing Josh to let out a dull  _"uuf"._

The first thing Josh notices are the firm back muscles his friend has, then he notices how perfectly they fit against his own abs. Tyler's body is snuggled against his own, like really snuggled, as if Josh is a pillow. Ty's head rests against Josh's chest so that he could easily lay his own chin on Ty's shoulder if he wanted to. His butt was pressing against Josh's crotch, legs lying to Ty's left and right. The warmth that radiates from Tyler's body only makes it more cozy. He could sit like this for hours. He feels every movement Tyler does. His breathing, how his chest rises and falls when he inhales and exhales, how his muscles flex when he moves his arm, everything. It somehow calms Josh, and he could easily fall asleep right here and now.

 "Hey", Josh whisper-says, accidentally breathing hot air against Tyler's neck and ear. The younger shivers, and turns his head to the side, so that he could see Josh from the corner of his eyes.

"I told you I'd crush you", Tyler says and picks up his Nintendo. "That's what you get for being cheeky."

"Then I should be cheeky more often", Josh says and immediately regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. The words just accidentally slipped out of his mouth. Plus, he doesn't want to creep Tyler out. The brunettes back muscles tense up for a second before he relaxes again, and feels Tyler getting hotter. He says nothing though. But Josh could swear that Tyler blushes.

 The next thing Josh does is that he lays his chin on Tyler's right shoulder, so that he could watch over his shoulder and see his own Nintendo. Josh's arms had embraced Tyler around his waist, so that his hands and Nintendo hover above Tyler's right leg. Otherwise Josh couldn't see a thing. So that's the solution he comes up with, and Tyler seems to be more than ok with it, since he only snuggles more against Josh if that's even possible. Josh didn't know Tyler was a cuddle person, but he could get used to it.

They play Mario Cart for a while, and stay in that position the whole time. Their bodies melt into each others perfectly, neither of them annoyed or uncomfortable. It's the opposite. This is probably one of the most comfortable positions Josh has ever been in.

Every then and now, they would cover up the others screen so that they couldn't see where they are driving. The first time Josh does it Tyler shrieks  _"Josh"_  loudly and Josh just couldn't stop laughing at how desperately Tyler tries to push Josh's hand away. After the race, Ty claims that _"he was so concentrated and Josh destroyed everything"_ , as well as giving him a fake angry pout, and Josh just adored they way Tyler tried to be angry when he simply couldn't. Tyler was way too cute to look or be angry.

When Tyler covers up Josh's screen the first time, he pushes random buttons on Josh's Nintendo as well, laughing like a little shit, so Josh tickles him with his left hand. Needless to say, Tyler laughed even harder and Josh just couldn’t stop grinning. Neither of them really concentrated on what was happening in Mario Cart. They just laughed, and tickled the each other until neither of them wanted to play anymore. In the end, Tyler did really win 6 out of 10 races, and with that claims to be the one and only Mario Cart king. Josh says Tyler only won because his cuteness distracted him. It just felt so natural to say that around him, to express the feelings that were in him. So neither of them really overthought what the other person said and just accepted it. After Josh had said Tyler is cute, they even discussed who of them is cuter for good ten minutes. Of course Josh said it is Tyler, Tyler said it is Josh. And of course, they came to no conclusion.

By now, their legs are entangled, and they just enjoy each others being. They just sit there and talk about everything, and it doesn’t feel weird at all. Josh's arms sling around Tyler's waist, his hands even resting in Tyler's lap. Tyler still wears his skirt, but even then it isn't weird that Josh's hands lay in between fabric and naked skin. He doesn't even feel like it is a sexual gesture. He doesn't deny that it's tempting to push his hands under Tyler's skirt, or stroke his thighs, but right now he just wants to keep the cozy atmosphere of feeling loved and wanted. Tyler had intertwined his fingers with Josh's at some point, so Tyler shouldn’t be too uncomfortable with Josh's hands in his lap, right? Plus, they haven't even went further than cuddling, so if Josh would let his hands slide under his skirt it'd be weird anyway. Hell, they weren't even a couple, Josh doesn't even know what he feels for Tyler. He's kind of certain that he may have a  _little_  crush though.

Suddenly it is 10 pm, and neither of them noticed. Still, they decide to watch a movie, just like Josh had promised Tyler earlier in the day. So they put Josh's laptop on Tyler's lap, and look up "Pulp Fiction". Tyler claims the movie to be  _"so sick",_  so Josh just lets Tyler pick the movie.The both of them share a love for old movies as they figure out, and Tyler says it's a shame that Josh didn't see the movie yet. Josh only grins, and Tyler pats Josh's cheek a couple of times, saying he is completely serious. 

"Of course you are completely serious Ty", Josh says with sarcasm, and Tyler reacts to that by grabbing Josh's right upper leg and squeezing it hard. Josh shrieks and bucks his body upwards. Tyler only chuckles and mumbles a silent _"cheeky, cheeky, cheeky"_. Josh is ok with that. Josh is also ok with Tyler falling asleep during the movie. He's ok with their cuddling, ok with their intertwined hands and legs, ok with Tyler's head pressing against Josh's throat. Ok with Tyler's soft snoring, Tyler's warmth, he's ok with everything. More than ok. 

 _I think you've never ever fallen for somebody that hard._  And Josh thinks it may be the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO EXCITED FOR YOUR FEEDBACK AHHH, you guys like it so far??
> 
> BTW NEXT CHAPTER IS THE PARTY YEY


	5. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS TO MY READERS FOR INSPIRING ME TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT CHAPTER YEY, s a bit angsty but fun and I hope you like it as a bridge for the big fucking thing to happen next chapter WHOO
> 
> Btw school's shit rn and I can't update that regular anymore. Be pantient thank you

"Tyler are you done? We have to go", Josh says as he puts on a white loose tank top. He looks at himself in the small mirror that hangs next to the door, bending down so that his whole body could fit in. He wears a simple shirt paired with black skinny jeans and his favourite black sneakers. The red hair stood out the most, and Josh even considers to wear a beanie to cover it. But then he drops the thought because seriously.... They are going to a party and it's going to be hot and sticky as hell. And Tyler could find in the crowd easier then. Striking hair colours can me useful sometimes.

"Tyyyyyleeeeeeer, c'mon you look good anyway. Brendon and the rest are waiting for us", Josh shouts at Tyler, who's locked himself in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes now.

"JISHWAA, so impatient. Gimme a second, I'm not sure with my outfit choice", Tyler shouts back hesitantly. 

"I already gave you more than a second. What's the problem with the outfit? Show me", Josh says caring.

For a moment it is completely silent, and then Josh thinks that Tyler maybe isn't even sure if he can show Josh. Several more seconds pass and Josh furrows his brows, trying to figure out what this boy could possibly be doing in there.

"You-", Josh starts but gets cut of by the clicking sound of the bathroom lock. Josh lingers to see what Tyler is wearing. It couldn't be _that_ bad. Tyler's alway insecure about everything so probably he just overthinks again. But as soon as Tyler steps out of the bathroom Josh's mouth falls open in surprise. Now he understands why Tyler thought twice about wearing this.

His navy coloured, high waisted skirt starts below his belly button and ends right below his butt,  whereas his loose, dark grey crop top just covers the area of his ribcage. There is a visible stripe of bare skin in between these two fabrics, and Josh wonders if Tyler's isn't freezing. Besides that, there's nothing wrong with that outfit, not at all. It's not inappropriate, not slutty, but shouts party and sexiness. And Josh once again feels his eyes glued to certain spots.

"Um- ok I know what you're thinking. But... see", Tyler says and disappears in the bathroom again, coming out with a jacket that looks way too big for his body. "I- I don't know. I thought maybe I could wear my outfit under that jacket? When I have it on, the skirt could pass off as short pants. And I've seen a couple of guys at school with pants as short as my skirt, so I should be fine... Maybe, I dunno..."

Josh just keeps looking at him as he tries to figure out how he's going to survive that evening with Tyler in that outfit. Other people will check him out, and that's something Josh wanted to prevent from the very beginning. On the other hand, they promised to watch each others back, so the both of them will probably spend the evening together anyway. Not only that, but Josh will need to resist the urge of touching Tyler's naked skin. Jesus, dancing with Tyler and at the same time knowing what hides underneath his jacket could only get him hard in his pants.

"Nevermind, this is a horrible idea anyway", Tyler suddenly says as his face falters.

Josh's eyes widen and he realizes that he just let Tyler feel bad again. He blinks a couple of times before trying to come up with a good reason that Tyler stays dressed like this. Because he _really really_ wants Tyler to go out like this. 

"No no no, wait. It's not a horrible idea. You look stunning", Josh admits embarrassingly and with that earns a shy smile from Tyler. "But you feel comfortable in these clothes right?"

"Yeah, I mean I do."

"Then where's the problem in wearing that? Plus, you wear that jacket so you're still in your comfort zone. The idea's good and I think you should wear this, it looks very se-.. uh- nice", Josh says and quicky corrects himself. He feels a heavy blush creeping on his face, because telling Tyler he looks sexy wasn't planned. Tyler _is_ sexy, god Josh can't deny that, but that doesn't mean he can tell him.

Over the past couple of days, Josh kinda got used to thinking of Tyler in a more crush-kind of way. He let himself touch Tyler, accepted the thought of wanting to kiss Tyler and even flirted with him on purpose. It is still hella weird to him because this whole "crushing on a boy" thing is completely new to him, but Josh isn't that scared of it anymore. He's even sure that his crush on Tyler is something more than just a crush, but he can't actually say that out loud. If he'd do that, he feels like his sexuality and feelings are something not only he himself is aware of, but other people too. He wants to be sure what he feels for Tyler first before he gets overwhelmed, so he stays in his safe little bubble. And Josh thinks he'd be overwhelmed if he'd say "I'm gay" to any person. Hell, Tyler and him hadn't even went further than cuddling, so how would Josh know if he really _loves_ Tyler. At least he knows that the desire of wanting to kiss him gets bigger and bigger every day. These worst of all things is, that Josh doesn't even know what Tyler feels for him. He's never really considered that, being too occupied with his own thoughts. What if Tyler doesn't even want to kiss him? 

"You really think that?", Tyler asks hesitantly.

"Hell yeah", Josh says confidently to push Tyler.

"Ok then", Tyler smiles and puts on his way too big jacket. The sleeves are way too long and end just so you could still see his fingertips, as well as the jacket covers the skirt almost perfectly. There's still a big stripe of the skirt's fabric visible, but if you didn't look closely you wouldn't even know that these aren't pants. Tyler pulls up the zipper carefully and in that moment there's a very loud knock on the door.

"BITCHES GET YA ASSES OUT IT'S PARTY NIGHT", somebody suddenly screams, followed by loud cheers from the rest of the group. Of course it is Brendon.

"Jesus Christ they have no chill", Josh laughs and looks back at Tyler, who seems to be nervous. Of course he is.

"You sure you wanna do that?", he asks Ty one more time. "You don't have to come with us if you don't feel good. Or you change your outfit, you know. Do whatever makes you feel better."

Tyler looks like he's considering one of those options for a moment and then looks down to the floor. For a second Josh really thinks Tyler stays in their room, but then Tyler pulls himself together and gives Josh a excited look.

"I think I'm fine. You promised to look after me, so I shouldn't be nervous, right? Yes I'm sure, let's go and hit that dance floor", Tyler says with a sweet innocent smile on his face, and Josh just has to grin back. Because Tyler trusts Josh, he trusts Josh to take care and look after him. Tyler knows Josh is going to stay at his side. In this moment Josh just wants to reach forward and kiss the smile off of Tyler's face, wants to whisper encouring loving things. He wants to tell Tyler how perfect he is. But then again, he doesn't even know how Tyler feels for Josh. Has he ever felt the same way? Has Tyler ever had the same thoughts like Josh?

"GUYYSS STHAP MAKIN OUT N COME OUT", Patrick shouts, who is apparently past tipsy already.

"WAIT A SECOND", Josh shouts back, chuckling at Patrick's tipsiness and ignores what he just said.

They look at each other one last time before heading out and making their way to the party. And hell, if Josh would've known how this party is going to change everything.

\-----

Josh has no clue where he is or what time it is. He's got his third or fourth beer in his hand and tries to figure out a way to get out of the dancing crowd. Sweaty people move around him and shake their bodies to the beat, made out in corners or played beer pong in the garden. Either way, it's sticky as hell and Josh is feeling very tipsy, not drunk though. He decides to stop drinking the beer he's currently carrying with him, otherwise he'd never find his friends and just pass out right here and there.

They all came here and started drinking together, but the longer they crushed at Melanie's place (her parents had bought her a house next to the campus) the more and faster they started losing each other. The last person he saw is Tyler, but that was about half an hour ago, and Josh desperately tries to find him. Tyler is his first priority, that's for sure. They even promised to take care of each other, but now he's nowhere to be seen. The room is way too dark to make out any person in here.

Josh keeps searching for Tyler but eventually gives up. This makes no sense at all. He looks on his phone quickly, because maybe Tyler sent him a message, but nope. No message, no missed call, nothing. He quickly types in his phone number and calls him, but of course it's way too loud in here, so how the hell should Tyler hear his phone anyway? He sends him a couple of messages, before putting his phone back in his pocked, looking one last time over the crowds head. Nothing. He can't even find Brendon. Josh's worries get bigger and bigger every second, what if something happened to him? What if someone is making fun about his outfit? What if someone makes him feel insecure? The worst thoughts pass his mind, and he realizes that this won't help his worries. The best thing he can actually do now is to sit aside and wait for Tyler or anyone to text him. Or find him. 

So he makes his way out of the center of attention and sits down at the bar that had some snacks and shots sitting on it. He puts his empty bottle of beer next to it that he actually wasn't planning on finishing, and pulls his phone out once again to check his messages and the time. It's way past midnight and of course, no message from anyone. He's somewhere in between tipsy, tired and horny (thanks alcohol) and really just wants to get Tyler and leave. He nibbles at his fingers and taps in foot on the floor in a steady rythym, his eyes never leaving the crowd. _Tyler where the hell are you?_

Josh looks down on his phone again, screen blurry as he seems to rock back and forth. Maybe he shouldn't have drank these beers that quickly. Suddenly he makes out a loud "WHEEEEE" sound from the crowd. Josh snaps his head up in shock, and to his surprise none other than Brendon Urie stumbles towards him. A wave of relief overcomes him, because when Brendon is here, the others shouldn't be far away. He quickly jumps up from his seat, accidentally bowling down one or two shot glasses, but he couldn't care less. He runs toward Brendon who seemed to be as tipsy as Josh. Well maybe he is a bit tipsier, because as soon as he sees Josh he grins like an idiot and stumbles over his feet, falling right on the floor.

"Brendon, you idiot. Where is Tyler?", he says, grabbing his best mates hand to pull him up.

"I dunno", Brendon mumbles as he lies on the floor like a half dead person. His voice sounds pretty sober though. For explanation, Brendon is one of these drunk persons you could talk to like they drank nothing, but as soon as they move it looks like they they already had 10 shots. Also, Brendon is a dumbass so Josh doesn't wonder that Brendon trips over his own feet almost on a daily basis.

 Brendon finally gets up as tilts forward and snorts. "JOOOshIEEE, are you looking for ya l-v-o-r-e." Maybe you couldn't talk to Brendon that good when he's drunk.

Josh wrinkles his forhead in confusion before he understands what he was trying to say, and gives Brendon a bitchface that he probably couldn't even see in the dark. "Brendon you spelt the word "lover" wrong you idiot. And he isn't my l-v-o-r-e."

Brendon snorts again, and pokes Josh's chest. "Now you spelt it wrong. Awww Joshie, and he is your loverrrrr, c'maaan I know it", Brendon says, rolling the r overdramatically. Josh rolls his eyes, because discussing with a drunk Brendon really makes no sense right now. He can't deny the blush that creeps it's way on his face though. They aren't lovers, they really aren't. Josh didn't lie to Brendon. But he can't deny that he's thought about that already. And if they'd be lovers... let's just say Josh wouldn't mind.

"No", Josh answers to Brendons claim, although he knows he feels differently.

"Sooo, and what if I'd say that I go over to Tyler now and daaaance with him. Then I'll griiiind against him and he'll make suuuuch pretty noiiiises, ohwww Josh don't you wanna hear him moan your name, you do don't you? Josh you're such a hoe ohhhmygawwwd", Brendon says but it sounds like he doesn't know what he's saying the half of the time. Josh, who is still horny (ALCOHOL THANK YOU not), can't think about anything different now. Good job Brendon. He only wants to find Tyler, but instead he gets these filthy pictures again. What Tyler would look like on the dance floor, swaying his hips like crazy as he'd try to seduce Josh. Oh god, he feels his pants getting tighter again. 

"Go and do it Brendon", Josh says hesitantly. He doesn't actually mean it though. Neither of them knew where Tyler is, so Brendon wouldn't even get to chance to dance with him. The best Josh can do is to just tell Brendon it is ok to dance with Ty, otherwise he'd kind of give himself away. He doesn't want to admit his feelings to Brendon yet.

"Ohhh Jishi-boy you'll sooo regret that. Remember, I only do this for youuuu", Brendon says and turns around, stumbling towards the dancing crowd again. He almost falls down again, and Josh furrows his brows as he tries to figure out what Brendon is planning on doing. Brendon bends down a little, being exhausted apparently, and then raises his arm almost falling over his own feet again. Josh keeps watching him from the short distance, and still wonders what Brendon is doing. But then he sees it.

Tyler comes out of the crowd, fragile body squeezing through the tiny space in between the dancing bodies. Josh immediately wants to rush forward and grab Tyler's hand to leave the party, but then he freezes. Tyler had apparently put off all of his insecurities this party. Josh almost faints, because _wow_. The brunette comes out, no huge jacket wrapped around him. You could see his skirt, as well as the loose crop top hugging his body perfectly. And Josh hadn't expected this to happen. He hadn't expected Tyler to leave his safe little bubble at all. But yet, there he is, pretty as ever. And Josh doesn't know how he feels about that. Nobody but him is supposed to see Tyler like this, his hips are only for Josh. He belongs to Josh.

Tyler walks towards Brendon, as he tries to get him up (because Brendon fell down again), giggling sweetly. Tyler didn't seem to see Josh though, but of course it's way too loud and dark, and between them is quite a distance, so how the hell should Tyler know? Josh's eyes are still glued to Tyler's outfit, because fuck he is horny, but right now he is also very relieved to see Tyler again. And Tyler seems to feel more than ok. So Josh is ok too. But then he isn't, because he literally just allowed Brendon to grind against Tyler. To dance the hell out of him, and Josh suddenly feels very jealous. Maybe Brendon forgot about their conversation? Hopefully he already forgot. So Josh just eyes to both of them from a safe distance, feeling drunker and drunker every second. Josh is sure that that is because of Tyler and not only the alcohol. Josh is simply drunk on Tyler, and he feels like his eyes are blown with lust by now. Because _fuck_.

But nope, as if someone wants to upset Josh, Brendon didn't forget their conversation. He gives Josh a look across the room, licking his lips before being giggly with Tyler all over again. Brendon starts swaying his hips again, the both of them building the last row of the dancing crowd. So Josh could see more than perfectly how Brendon grabs Tyler's hips, making up a rythym with his own. They didn't quite touch each other except for the crotch area, that was very fucking way too close, and Josh feels his jealousy and anger growing with every move they make. He knows Brendon doesn't feel something for Tyler, he knows that he just does it to make Josh jealous. And it's working. 

Josh feels his face getting red, and he just can't handle it anymore. But he knows if he'd walk up to seperate them, he would kind of out himself. To Brendon as well as to Tyler. And he's sure as hell that if he'd walk up there, he couldn't keep his hands off of Tyler. He'd roam his hands over Tyler's body, he'd kiss all the way down his neck, _hell_ he'd slip his hands under Tyler's skirt shameless. That is probably one side effect being drunk on alcohol and Tyler at the same time. But he knows if he goes there, there's no way to refrain himself from going down on Tyler all the way. Still, he keeps imagining how Tyler would moan under his touch, how he would stretch his neck out for Josh to suck and breath hot air on it, how he would buck up his hips, never wanting to have a loss of contact between their bodies. They'd dance the whole night, and Tyler would be only his. But right now it's Brendon dancing with Tyler, not Josh.

Josh is way too caught up in his daydream, so he doesn't realize what happens at first. He hears a loud scream, and sees numerous people breaking apart. Josh shakes his head quickly before taking in the whole scenery. By now, people were quickly leaving the dancing floor, some girls screamed, but all in all their faces showed nothing but blank fear. Josh's heart started to race, as his sees Brendon lying on the floor. First he thinks that he fell again, but the closer he gets the better he sees what Brendon actually does.

"Y'ALL ARE FUCKING FAGGOTS", a huge blonde guy shouts down at Brendon, who covers his bleeding cheek with a hand. Everybody stares at the scenery, no one dares to say anything. Music is the only thing that fills this room with noises by now, and it couldn't be less fitting in this cruel, surreal situation. Josh rushes forward, he's never ran that fast in his whole life. He needed to get to Brendon, needed to see Tyler.

_Tyler fuck._

Josh's heart fastens, and nothing feels real anymore. He just rushes forward, shoving away the people around him to get to the center of attention. The only things he thinks about are Brendon and Tyler. He sees Brendon, but not Tyler. And he just prays that Tyler is far, far away. His tipsiness doesn't makes it easier for him, but he eventually makes his way through the people that stand around Brendon and the blonde guy. 

And you know, when people say their hearts feel like stopping in situations of horror, you never took it literal. You never thought it could feel like feeling nothing. But yet, Josh sees the blond guy that has Tyler's shirt in his hands firmly. He sees Tyler's eyes, the fear and the regret. And Josh's heart stands still. He isn't breathing, isn't living, isn't feeling. He's numb, dead. And he knows Tyler feels the same. He knows Tyler feels the same when the blonde guy raises his arm and starts shouting again. He knows Tyler isn't aware of the tears slipping out of his eyes, but Josh is. He needs to be alive for Tyler now. That's what his duty is. He has to protect Tyler. Josh has never run faster in his whole life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE BAD CLIFFHANGER BUT OK next chapter is going to be SO SICK I SWEAR PLEASE STICK WITH ME, i won't let you down. As said, this chapter is just a bridge hopefully you still enjoyed a bit


	6. Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR 1000 VIEWS AND 100 KUDOS ON THIS STORY AHHH <3  
> ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY THIS STORY I FUCKING TRIED, OK? I HOPE THIS IS OK YOU FELLOW READERS I LOVE Y'ALL WTF
> 
> (is a tiny bit violent but not quite I don't think a warning is needed, also the scene is not long)  
> BUT FUCKING JOSHLER YAS

Josh sees stars and bright lights even though the room is dark. His heart is still pounding like crazy, his breath coming out unsteady and shaky. And he rushes forward, he knows what is coming. At the same time he doesn't. The adrenaline blocks his brain and takes over his whole body, he has no control, but at the same time he's never felt so powerful and strong. And it shouldn't feel that good, but it does.

The next thing he feels is the force of two bodies colliding, and he knows that he just tackled away the blond guy. He feels a heavy pulse in his upper body that seems to creep through his veins, his body feels like it's on fire. His mind is racing. He doesn't know how to react. Because the blond guy lays on the floor, eyes widened in shock. Josh glances at Tyler quickly, before he faces the guy on the floor again. And even though he saw Tyler for maybe a second, the image of him burns in his head like never before. He sees the fear in his wet, sad eyes, the anger and the apology. And Josh knows Tyler is scared. Scared of him. Scared of the blond. Josh has never been the guy to get angry quickly, but he just can't stand at the side and watch his friends getting punched. Getting beaten up because of something they are, something they love.

The blond guy stands up slowly, face grimaced with pain and anger. Josh really hopes to get out of this in one piece. He really isn't planning on fighting with him. Hell, he really hadn't thought about what could possibly happen if he attacks him. He only wanted this guy to get his hands off of Tyler. But now as it seems, there's no way around a fight. The guy will punch him, he's going to fight Josh. He will fight Josh because he defended his  _gay friends._ Josh isn't prepared, he's never fought. His heart races, he just doesn't want to hurt anybody. 

And before Josh sees it coming, a fist knocks against his face with an unimaginable force. He tumbles back astonished, before his mind goes blank and his view black. For a couple of seconds he sees nothing. The only thing he notices is the pulsing pain in his cheekbone and Tyler screaming in the background. His blurry vision catches the blond guy standing in front of him, before everything goes black again.

"JOSH, PLEASE GO AWAY, GO", Tyler screams, voice filled with hurt and fear. Josh even hears a slight sobbing, before he finally realizes that he fell on the ground. His whole body burns in pain, but at least his mind slowly but surely starts to work again. Something warm and thick starts to run down his cheek, and he doesn't even have to touch it to know that it's blood. 

Tyler awakes from his paralyse and runs towards Josh, who tries to get up desperately. He kneels down next to Josh and takes his face in his hands, tears streaming down his precious cheeks as he examines Josh with an unreadable expression. Tyler's hands on him had once again a calming effect, the warmth of their bodies melted into each other again. Josh feels safe, even though he knows that this situation is everything but safe. The blond guy is angry, and instead of kneeling besides Josh he should've ran away. Tyler shouldn't sit next to Josh, he should be gone. Josh has to protect Tyler, not the other way around.

"Josh please, please. Fuck... come with me, please go, come with me", Tyler says hecitcally as he pulls at Josh's arms desperately. But before Josh could open his mouth, the blond guy is next to them again.

"Stupid faggot, go the fuck away or I'll beat up this dumb red head. You're not fucking appreciated. You two are two poor dumb faggots", he spits out in disgust, and Josh just couldn't believe that these people really exist. He takes one of Tyler's hands in his and looks at him in the rush of the moment. Everything goes so fast.

"Tyler, go. Now", Josh says quickly, voice filled with panic. Tyler's big glassy eyes suddenly widen in disbelief and he only clenches his hand around Josh's harder, not planning on leaving him anytime.

"No- No Josh, I can't", Tyler says shaking his head heavily, just as panicky. They stare at each other and the world seems to stop, even though everything around them feels like time has never been faster.

"Please Tyler, do it for me, please", Josh says desperately and feels Ty's hand cupping his cheek once again. His fragile fingers wipe away the blood that already made it's way down his chin. His hand is so so soft and so weak, but it's never felt more powerful to Josh. It's like Tyler gives him energy, the air he needs to breathe.

In that moment the blond rushes forward and slaps away Tyler's hand before shoving him on the ground with a heavy yank. He hits the ground hard, yelping loudly. And that's it. That's fucking it. Josh's heart beats heavily in his chest and his body seems to fill with a power he doesn't know he has. Josh knows that this is what true anger feels like, even though he's never felt that way before. That's what the feeling of not having any control is. The feeling as if somebody takes over your body and makes it a different one.

"DON'T EVER FUCKING TOUCH HIM AGAIN", Josh screams as he jumps up and runs over the taller man. His fists meet the blond's stomach, who makes a painful sound at that.  _This is to protect Tyler. This is for Brendon._ The guy bends over, holding his stomach in pain as he tries to catch his breath, so does Josh. His lungs burn, but he feels his pulse going down slowly but surely, knowing that the heat of the moment is coming to an end, knowing that the power will leave him soon. His fists are still clenched, nails digging into his skin as he watches the tall guy composing himself, and in that moment Josh knows he is fucked. He sees the man's expression and he just knows that he is completely fucked. Josh may be powerful with adrenaline rushing through his veins, but he knows the other man will always be stronger even without adrenaline. And now... well, let's say Josh just helped him to get that certain amount of adrenaline to hurt him really really badly.

Josh raises his hands in defense, knee's suddenly feeling weak. "Man I don't wanna fight with you, let us fucking go. I hate fights, please...-", Josh says desperately. But of course he won't do Josh that favor, I mean why should he?

"You fucking punched me in my stomach, why the fuck should I let you go? Why would I let fucking faggots go?", the blond growls. He comes dangerously close to Josh, but he just stands there frozen in place. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. That is what fear feels like. When you know that the last bit of hope you have leaves you.

"JOSH RUN", Tyler screams painfully, but then it's too late and the other man gives him another punch in the face. A punch in his stomach, his chest, everywhere. Josh doesn't know where up and down is, what place he is at, what time it is. It's just his body, his mind has already left him. He feels fists everywhere, pain exploding all over his body. Everything feels so painful but numb at the same time. He doesn't know if this is the strongest or weakest he's ever felt his own body. He holds his hands up and tries to block the attacks, but it doesn't work. His eyes are closed, his head is aching and everything he hears is Tyler. The boy screams as if this is the most disturbing thing he's ever seen. Maybe it even is. Josh hears the tears and the sobs, the pain and the wrecked yet beautiful voice of his. And it hurts Josh more to hear Tyler like this than getting fists punched against his whole body. Because he knows he couldn't protect Tyler. He failed. Josh is a failure.

Suddenly he doesn't feel fists anymore, there is nothing hitting him. He dares to open his eyes. First everything is blurry, but then he sees a bunch of people holding the blond guy back. The guy screams as he is dragged out of the room, people trying to interrupt him agitatedly. And Josh knows he's through this whole shit. A wave of relief hits him, and he falls down onto his knees. He feels like passing out any moment, he feels bruises on his chest, blood on his cheek. His breath starts to go steadier again and his muscles seem to relax as well. He feels like falling forward, when suddenly a person is dropping down next to him. Tyler.

"Josh... Josh come, come on we go", Tyler says in a shaky, panicky voice. But Josh doesn't really realize anything of what just happened. What is still happening. It is so surreal to him. His body isn't with him anymore, everything around him spins, his ears are ringing and he notices a vague feeling of arms that are put around him.

"Ty-ler", he mumbles. "What just happened..." Tyler's puts his arm around his waist and takes Josh's arm to come around his neck. They stand up slowly, and without his question being answered, Tyler leads the both of them through Melanie's house.

Slowly but surely the whole situation hits him. He's getting more and more aware of his surroundings, as well as he starts feeling himself again. The numbness of his body gets less and less, the pain grows with every step he makes forward. By now he's at least walking instead of getting dragged around by Tyler. _Tyler._

Josh realizes they arrived in the bathroom as Tyler sits him down on the floor against the bathtub. The room is cold and smells like an indefinable fruit. But Josh really appreciates that, because instead of sweaty sticky air he finally feels like he can breathe again. Not only his lungs seem to appreciate that, but his head too since the ringing in his ears gets quieter. By then he looks around in the room, every muscle hurting as he flexs them, his vision getting clear again. At first he makes out Tyler who has his back turned to him. Tyler's whole body shakes, water splashing around him like crazy. He must stand at the sink, and judging by his movements he is still pretty scared. The poor boy.

"Ty. Ty-ler, you know-", Josh says, voice all raspy and destroyed. But before Josh could finish his sentence, Tyler turns around in one fell swoop and stares at Josh with huge dark eyes. His eyes are glassy and as red as his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes speak for themselves. And Tyler just stands there until his lips start to tremble and his eyes start to water. None of them say anything, they just stare at each other. Words are not necessary, they don't need them to talk. Their eyes speak for themselves, and they scream hurt and pain.

"Tyler", Josh whispers, and as soon as Tyler hears his voice he breaks down. He drops down on the floor next to Josh and he cries and cries, face burried in his hands and hair messily. His whole body trembles, and the sobs that escape his mouth are like little stitches for Josh. They are full of guilt and hatred. The hatred he feels for himself.

"Tyler-please, c'mere", Josh says just as hurt and lays down a soothing hand on his bare leg. But Tyler just flinches away, what Josh hadn't expected him to do. He just wants to help Tyler, but instead Josh messed everything up. He can't lose Tyler now. Not now. He needs to hold Tyler, needs to be there for him. Tyler can't leave him now.

But then Tyler puts down his hands and stands up quietly. His eyes are still red, and there are still tears running down his cheeks but he eventually manages to stand up, and goes over to the sink with shaky legs. He doesn't look at Josh, nor does he speak. And for a second Josh thinks that he lost Tyler. That Tyler hates him now. And the thought hurts more than any of those punches he'd gotten 10 minutes ago. But then he sits down next to Josh, holding a wet towel in his right hand. 

"Tyler", Josh says once again. But Tyler just ignores him and reaches forward, eyes focused on his cheek. And then Josh remembers the open wound in his face, he remembers the blood and wonders where else he's got bruises and wounds. The cold wet towels touches Josh's cheek, and he hisses through his teeth painfully, what eventually makes Tyler whimper. His trembling hand moves carefully up and down Josh's blood stained skin, trembling only getting worse and worse with each movement. And they just sit there, room filled with Tyler's silent sobs and heavy breathing, vague sounds of the party in the background. At some point Tyler drops the towel in his lap, so that Josh could see his blood smeared all over the white fabric, and starts crying again. Heavily. He sits there again, broken, fragile as ever, small.

"Josh- I-I'm so sorry", Tyler sobs under his shaky breath. "I- I can't... I don't deserve this, don't look at me like you feel sorry for me. I'm such a mess, I'm a failure, I-"

Josh takes his wrist abruptly what causes Tyler to stop talking in shock. And then they finally look in each others eyes again. It's never felt that intense, and Josh feels a huge wave of emotions hitting him once more. How could such a beautiful human being think so little of himself? Their eyes are still locked, Josh's eyes watery as well by now.

"Tyler", Josh whisperes again. Tyler's lips tremble at that once more, but Josh just keeps whispering. "Tyler please come here." He holds out his hand for Tyler, and luckily he takes it after hesitating for a second. Josh's other hand comes around Tyler's waist, and if Tyler wants it or not, he pulls him in his lap slowly. Tyler even helps him by crawling a bit until their chests are pressed together slightly, wanting to feel as much from each other as possible. Tyler sits down directly onto his crotch, but Josh really couldn't care less. Especially when Tyler's arms sneak around his neck and pulls him into a bone crushing hug.

And in that moment Josh knows that he didn't lose Tyler. His whole body aches in pain, but with Tyler on him, it's ok. His own arms immediately come up to embrace Tyler's waist just as strong. He feels every inch of Tyler's body, every inhale and exhale, every twitch of his muscle when he trembles. He feels hot, moist breath when Tyler nuzzles his head in Josh's crook of his neck. He feels their embrace getting tighter and tighter every second, until it feels like their life depends on this hug. On their connection. 

"Josh... I don't deserve this", Tyler whisperes, but it barely comes out as a huff. "You got beaten up, because... because I was dumb enough to think... to think it's ok to show up like that. I couldn't help you, I saw how you fought. For Brendon. _For me._ Josh-", his voice cracks. "And you should hate me, you just punch me. You-... Josh, you look at me as if I am the one who got beaten up. As if I'm the one in pain. Yet you hold me and sooth me- I should do that. I couldn't do any of this- I'm weak. I- I should've been to one to get beaten up, not you. Never protect me again, ever. I- You deserve so much better, I don't. I-....", he keeps whispering. Everything still comes out as breaths, so that Josh could barely hear him. And the more he talks, the more he seems to hate himself, the more it hurts Josh. Josh's vision gets blurry from tears he sheds for Tyler, but he only tightens his grip around the bpy. He won't ever let him go. He will always protect Tyler as good as he can.

"Tyler", Josh interrupts silently. He just can't listen to Tyler anymore. He can't hear his self-doubts anymore. Otherwise he'll break. Otherwise his heart will stop.

Josh slowly pulls away from Tyler, faces inches apart. He feels Tyler's breath on his face, he smells him like never before, sees him like never before. Sees the light brown spots in his dark brown eyes, the uneven skin texture, the little hairs on his face. It should be creepy, but it's not. It's probably the most intimate moment Josh's ever had.

"Tyler, please stop", Josh whisperes, hot breath hitting Tyler's face, Tyler's lips. The both of their lips are parted, eyes locked. "You- Tyler. You're the most precious human I've ever met. And hell, we just met at the beginning of the year. Yet, I feel like I've known you for years. I don't know what it is that you make me feel, but I've never had that before. I only know I want- I need more. I have the urge to protect you, to stay at your side. If- god Tyler- If somebody would ever hurt you I'd go crazy. Please don't doubt yourself, it was my decision to fight this idiot. And let me tell you, when I heard you scream... it's was so much more painful than any of these punches- I...." But then Josh gets cut off by Tyler's hands that now hold Josh's face. And Josh knows he doesn't need to say more than that, even though he could.

"Josh-", Tyler whisperes, voice so silent that it is barely noticeable, as his thumb gazes over Josh's open wound. And there Josh is, spilling all of his emotions. Feelings he's locked up inside since the beginning now free to breathe. And it feels so fucking good to say it out loud. It feels so good to hold Tyler, to let him know about his feelings.

Their foreheads touch by now, room filled with nervous shaky breaths from the both of them. Slowly but surely, Josh reaches forward until their lips brush against each others. Tyler gasps silently, not flinching away though. And just the warm feeling of Tyler's warm pouty lips make Josh's heart race. Tyler's hands slowly travel down from Josh's face to his firm chest, before coming back to Josh's neck to rest them there. The soft touch sends a shiver down Josh's spine, before his own hands come up to cup Tyler's face ever so slowly. Their bodies are still pressed together, warmth wrapping around them. And that's it. That's the moment.

Josh slowly brings their mouths together, lips finally touching. It's a very soft kiss, they barely touched, both testing the waters. It's a completely new sensation to Josh though. He's never felt this way before. But he loves the feeling. Loves the feeling of Tyler's warm pouty lips, loves how Tyler's stubbles brush against his own, loves the way Tyler's hands grip his neck as if he never wants to let go. He also loves Tyler's hot breath on his face, loves the taste of his lips. And maybe this is how love is supposed to feel.

When they break apart, Tyler chuckles silently, eyes locking once again. They both of them had stopped crying at some point, being way too overwhelmed by this sensation and just grinned at each other slightly. And Josh just thinks _fuck it_ , and reaches forward to taste these lips once more. They just slide together perfectly. It just feels too good.

This time Josh uses a bit more pressure, what makes Tyler shriek and causes Josh to chuckle into the kiss. They keep kissing, each kiss feeling unique, each kiss leading to another, each kiss getting harder. Josh's hands wander down to embrace Tyler's waist tightly but lovingly. He feels Tyler smiling into the kiss as he burries one hand in the messy red mop that is Josh's hair, other hand still gripping his neck. The room is filled with the smacking sound of their kissing, with their breaths and their silent laughters. And is perfect. More than that. Something Josh will never be able to describe. He just wants to hold and kiss Tyler forever. 

They didn't go further than kissing that evening. They just kept pressing sweet kisses as each others lips and giggled then and there. Josh by then, had completely forgotten about any incident that evening, but only thought about their pressed together bodies and connected lips. He only thought about _his_ Tyler. And he doesn't know for how long they sat there, how long they made out, how long they held each other, how long they cuddled. But it didn't matter to Josh anyway. Because he knows Tyler feels the same, because he knows that only he can hold Tyler like this. Any of his thoughts, thoughts that chased him for weeks, didn't matter. Because if it is supposed to be a boy he likes, he wants and needs, if it is _Tyler_ he needs.. . then Josh is ok with that. If theres anything he learned from that evening, these weeks, from these feelings and emotions, from these wants and needs it is that... It may sound cliché but- then he learned that...

_Love is not a choice._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously hope this chapter is ok for you!! I love comments so feel free to write one, so nervous what you think of it ohmyygahwd.  
> I have stress atm so the next chapter is going to take me a while, plus, I need more inspiration so I don't know when I'll update the next chapter (I promise it won't take years lmao)  
> THANK YOU AGAIN FOR READING THIS STORY <3<3<3 :)  
> And sorry btw for the incident with Josh and the blond guy but this way I could write an acceptable kissing scene lmao. And I didn't want Josh to be the angry punchy-punchy-ouchie guy sooooOOOO YEAHhshS hope you like it I go now BYE


	7. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit shorter but I hope you still like it ;D

"So... did you and Tyler fuck or something?"

As soon as Josh hears it, he chokes heavily on his coffee, liquid spilling all over his shirt and notebooks as he gives Brendon a face.

"What?", Josh asks in disbelief, still choking on his beverage.

"You know. Fucking. Sex. Making love. You put your thingy in his-."

"BRENDON JESUS", Josh interrupts him loudly. They sit in a library, so he earns quite some looks from people who want him to shut up. But Brendon just sits there and grins widely, whereas Josh tries to rub off the coffee blotches on his clothes with a bright red face. There's no chance to have a normal conversation with Brendon. Ever.

"Have you?", Brendon pushes, as he leans over the table and repeats the question with a whisper. _"Have you?"_

"SHHH, jeez dude, don't be so loud the other people here want to study, don't annoy 'em... What the fuck, why do you even ask out of nowhere?", Josh says as he looks around to check that nobody is listening. His cheeks are still burning and he is almost certain that Brendon had already noticed too by now.

Brendon furrows his brows and chuckles. "Well, because you and Tyler joined us at around 4am, holding hands by the way. Plus, we saw neither of you after the... incident", he says and swallows uncomfortably. Josh's eyes immediately wander to Brendon's almost healed wound on the cheek, getting flashbacks from what had happened a couple of days ago. They haven't really talked about it yet, but maybe it's not even necessary. Josh will see where the conversation will lead them.

"Well anyway, we were wondering what you were doing so... yeah. Ryan and I made a bet. Did you guys fuck, please say yes, otherwise I lose 20 dollars." 

Josh gives him a bitchface. He can't believe he calls Brenon his best friend sometimes.

"No we didn't  _fuck_ ", Josh says, using his fingers to put the word in quotation marks. A girl across the room gives him a weird look because of their loud conversation again, but Josh doesn't care even though he's sure she knows what they're talking about.

"But you guys totally kissed", Brendon claims as Josh fumbles with the coffee stained hem of his shirt. He gets a bit nervous, but now that he indeed kissed Tyler, talking to Brendon about it isn't that strange anymore. And as soon as Brendon realizes that he is right, he grins at him widely.

"OHH MY- Joshieee I knewwww it", Brendon says like a love drunken teen girl. But Josh just remains silent and slowly but surely puts his school stuff back in his bagpack.

"I actually already knew from the moment I saw the huge hickey on your neck", Brendon says cheekily.

Josh's hand immediately flies up to cover his neck in embarrassment. And then his face gets even redder because he realizes that he has no hickey. He knows he has no hickey. Yes, before Tyler had stood up from his lap at the party, the last thing he had done was give him a couple of kisses down his neck. But he didn't suck on his neck or something, there's no chance that he has a hickey. Brendon, of course, had tricked him again.

"YESSSS I KNEW IT", Brendon almost screams now, as he claps his hands together before throwing them into the air. Josh's hand comes down again and he ruffles his mates black hair, knowing that he hates it. 

The people in the library all stare at them angrily, one guy even muttering who even cares about Josh's sex life. Brendon apparently, who also gives the guy an eye roll.

"I hate you", Josh chuckles as he throws in the rest of his school stuff into his bag. "I go to my room now before we get thrown out anyway, so have fun studying you asshat. Don't be too loud, stop annoying people", Josh says and throws the bag around his shoulder.

"AYEE, you haven't answered my question yet", Brendon says frustrated, as if he didn't even hear what Josh had just said. But Josh just keeps grinning.

"I'll answer it when you tell me what happened between you and Ryan at the party", Josh laughs, and laughs even harder as he sees the face Brendon makes as soon as Josh said that.

"WHO TOLD YOU?"

"Patrick", Josh laughs as he walks out of the library. He doesn't miss the " _DON'T MAKE OUT TOO LONG_ " Brendon screams after him though. He's sure the library hates them by now.

\----

As Josh arrives at the door to their room, he suddenly gets nervous all over. Tyler and him had seen each other very short the past days, school and music practice making it difficult. So every time one of them arrived in the evening, the other one was asleep already. So they hadn't really talked about what had happened yet. And from the ukulele sounds he makes out from their dorm, he knows that Tyler is home. And he knows he has to encounter him. It's not that he doesn't want to see him, he really does want to. More than everything. But what If everything is back to normal, and Tyler had forgotten about their kiss?

In that moment his phone makes a loud noise, causing Josh to flinch. Hopefully Tyler didn't hear him. So he slowly pulls out the phone, that eventually makes these loud noises again. And Josh is pretty sure that Tyler did hear him by now, since the ukulele sounds died down. He curses under his breath when he sees that Brendon send him those messages. This guy, seriously.

**Beebo forehead Uri: JISHWA**

**Beebo forehead Uri: TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED**

**Beebo forehead Uri: YOU KISSED TYLR OR WHA**

**Beebo forehead Uri: OKOK I TELL YOU, I KISSED RYAN AT THE PARTY, THATS IT I SWEAR**

**Beebo forehead Uri: NOW S YOUR TURN, WHAT HAPPEND WITH YOU N TYLERRR**

**Beebo forehead Uri: OK MAYBE I DID MORE THAN KISS RYAN BUT**

**Beebo forehead Uri: HELLO JOSH**

**Beebo forehead Uri: JISHI**

**Beebo forehead Uri: DON'T IGNORE ME**

**Beebo forehead Uri: AND PLS CHANGE MY NAME ON YOUR PHONE I HATE YOU**

**Beebo forehead Uri: MY FOREHEADS NO T BIG**

**Beebo forehead Uri: HELLO?**

**Beebo forehead Uri: HELLO?**

**Beebo forehead Uri: I DON'T WANT TO LOSE 20 DOLLARS**

**Beebo forehead Uri: HELL O?**

Josh grins at how impatient Brendon is, but then wants to punch him because now Tyler knows that Josh is in front of their door. So he just ignores Brendon's texts, mutes his phone and puts it back in his pocket, before taking a deep breath. He silently prays that everything will go well, and slowly opens the door.

Tyler sits on his bed, back turned to him and plays his ukulele. He apparently didn't hear Josh yet because he keeps playing and humming with the beat, instrument and person melting together. And it's just the cutest thing ever. Tyler's voice is just the prettiest thing ever. Tyler himself is just so beautiful, and Josh has to urge to sit behind him and embrace him. But he doesn't know if he can do that. If it's appropriate. But he wants it so bad.

He sucks in his breath, and in that moment Tyler turns around in one fell swoop and looks at Josh with crinkly dark, but happy eyes. The music stops, and Josh just stands there like an idiot and stares back at Tyler. Anxiety bubbles up inside him and he feels his cheeks getting red.

"Uh- I sorry, I just arrived- I", Josh stumbles, not really knowing what he wants to say anyway. But Tyler just waves him away and stands up from his bed, dropping the instrument on the floor.

And before Josh realizes what happens Tyler's arms swing around his neck tightly, embracing him like his life depends on it. Since Ty is a little smaller, he stands on his tippy-toes, fully wrapped around Josh. Josh is taken aback for a second, before he realizes that this is Tyler hugging him and wraps his arms around his waist just as tightly. Tyler hums softly before nuzzling his head in the familiar crook of Josh's neck, warm breath sending a shiver all over his body. And Josh couldn't be happier right now.

"Hey", Tyler whispers with his lips against Josh's neck, making his stomach flutter.

"Hey", he whispers back, voice trembling slightly.

Tyler's mouth slowly roams up Josh's neck, not quite touching but breathing against it. Josh stiffens in surprise, but then melts into his loving touch. Tyler didn't seem to feel anxious or insecure at all. And Josh wonders why he was so worried. Suddenly he feels Tyler's lips pressing softly against the edge of his jawline, mouth once again wandering upwards his neck to his ear. Tyler's hand burries in his hair, whereas his other hand cups his face, making Josh feel warm all over.

"I missed you", Tyler whispers in his ear seductively. And Josh had expected Tyler to be anything but confident or seductive, but he must say that seductive Tyler is freaking hot. And he may or may not be freaking turned on.

"I missed you too", Josh says, grinning like a 5 year old. 

Josh's rubs slow circles on Tyler's back, causing Tyler to hum happily. His mouth still hovers above Josh's ear, and with every hot breath Tyler exhales, Josh wants to kiss him more.

"Can I kiss you?", Tyler finally asks and moves a bit away so they can properly look at each other. Their faces are only inches apart, so Josh bends down so that their foreheads touch. Both of their eyes are glued to each others mouth, tension so thick that you could probably cut it. They needed to kiss. Josh needs Tyler's lips more than anything right now.

"God, yes", he huffs kind of needily, and in that moment he feels a pair of lips firmly pressing against his own. The both of them moan silently in the back of their throats, lips sliding together once more. Josh thinks back to the careful kisses they exchanged at the party. This right now, is a whole new level. And Josh loves it. They hold on to each other even harder, kisses getting firmer and needier. Josh's worries were completely gone, and he loses himself in Tyler's lips.

Suddenly he feels teeth pulling at his bottom lip, and he knows what comes now. His heart beats faster, his body getting hotter and hotter every second. He needs Tyler's lips. He needs Tyler.

His hands slide down Tyler's back to the hem of his shirt, and then he notices that Tyler wears a skirt. And it just way hotter to kiss him and know he could easily slip his hands under his skirt. So his hands rest right where his skirt begins, not wanting to go further and make Tyler uncomfortable though. His hands grip Tyler's hips firmly, causing Tyler to moan softly and let go of Josh's bottom lip. Josh chases his lips needily, causing the smaller one to laugh softly.

"Is this ok Josh?", Tyler suddenly whispers as he looks Josh in the eyes. But Josh just presses his lips against Tyler's once more, answering his question like that. He feels Tyler chuckle again, sending small vibrations through his body. That's when Josh feels his bottom lip caught in between teeth again, so he opens his mouth, excited of what's going to happen next. Tyler's tongue darts out, licking it's way into Josh's mouth.  Josh properly moans by now, followed by Tyler who apparently also can't hold himself back anymore. 

"Oh god- Josh", Tyler moans as their lips crush together constantly. Tyler takes Josh's face and guides the kiss, hot, wet tongues swirling together as well as their teeth cling against each other every now and then. But neither of them care, being too overwhelmed by the new sensations. Their kisses aren't sloppy though, they are excited and full of passion, and Josh feels like losing his mind any moment. How could he even think that Tyler forgot about their kiss at the party for a second.

They pant in each other mouths, smacking sound of their lips filling the room once more, hot bodies sliding against each other. Josh just wants to crush Tyler against the door and grind against him. He wants to make Tyler feel dirty and hot, wants to make him feel the best he's ever felt. But he can't do that, he can't rush whatever it is they have. But Josh doesn't want to ruin it, even though he wants to ruin Tyler (in a different way yk). So he tries to ignore the hot sensation in his stomach, that keeps sending his cock the signal to fuck Tyler right now and here. And hopefully Josh has no bulge in his pants, because they are getting tighter and tighter every second.

"Jeez- Ty", Josh huffs under his breath, slowing down his movements. He can't restrain himself from grinding their crotches together anymore, they were just inches apart. But Josh doesn't want to scare Tyler, so he can't. He needs to hold back, he tries so hard.

So Josh just presses their foreheads against each others again, breathing in each others mouth heavily. They look at each other panting, both smiling, bodies still wrapped around each other, both words on their lips but neither of them wanting to say something. It's just perfect. Well... it'd be better if Josh had no boner but you can't have everything, can you?

"Wow- what did I do to be greeted like this?", Josh asks smiling, voice raspy and uneven. But Tyler just smiles back and presses a chaste kiss to his lips once more, before he lets his hands slide down Josh's firm chest.

"I've always wanted to touch your chest", Tyler admits out of nowhere, not quite answering Josh's question. His hands grip Josh's chest loosely and rub up and down the sides, thumb tracing each line of his muscles. He let's his fingers slide in between each of Josh's stomach muscles, amazed at how broad and firm it is. Josh hums at the feeling of it, because it just feels way too fucking good. He can't remember that anyone has ever touched him like this. That anyone has ever touched him with so much passion and love.

"I've always wanted to touch you", Josh mumbles back without really thinking about it. And for a second he's worried that he scared Tyler away, but instead the smaller one beams at him brightly.

"You can", he says and Josh really hadn't expected him to say that. But if Tyler really means it, he's willing to do it. God, he really wants to touch him. But he can't rush their relationship. _Relationship?_

Suddenly Tyler's thumb presses in between Josh ribs, and Josh lets out a painful hiss at that. He remembers that he's got a bruise there. From the guy at the party. And Tyler's hands immediately disappear, face concerned.

"Oh my- sorry I forgot", Tyler mumbles with recognizable insecurity.

"It's ok", Josh says softly and takes one of Tyler's hands in his, trying to sooth him. "Really, it's ok, I can hear you worrying from here."

Tyler laughs softly, and let's Josh guide him to sit down on his bed. Josh pulls him in his lap (boner luckily gone) and wraps his arms around Tyler's waist protectively. Tyler hangs his arms around Josh's neck loosely, and draws his thumb over the wound in Josh's face ever so slightly. His face is still concerned, and Josh knows he still feels guilty.

"Josh- because of the party... and this guy- I", Tyler starts, but Josh just presses a chaste kiss against Tyler's lips in order to silence him.

"Babe, we don't have to talk about it now. We can do it another time, ok? And you don't need to apologize", Josh says soothingly. He doesn't want Tyler to feel bad right now, especially not after they just made out. Tyler deserves a little thinking break, so Josh just wants Tyler to feel good for once.

Tyler just nods and blushes at the nickname, while Josh presses small kisses all over his face, causing the smaller one to giggle and embrace Josh tighter.

"How about we cuddle a bit? Sounds good?", Josh mumbles against Tyler's neck.

"Sounds perfect."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Josh, sorry Tyler, sorry Tyler and Josh's parents and family, sorry Jesus but-  
> this is just the beginning of the sins.
> 
> Ok but I have no life bye
> 
> FEEDBACK IS STILL APPRECIATED MY FRENS, I SEE YOU ALL SOON  
> (btw gimme some suggestions how I could continue the story because yeah- makes more fun to write)


	8. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS WITH A TINY BIT OF RYDEN AND VERY CHEESY, BEWARE FRENS
> 
> This chapter is a bit longer cuz I'm not that happy with my last chapter so I apologize! I hope y'all still stick with me D: I NEED YOU GUYS

"Josh, you've got a hickey again", Brendon says and shoves his third or fourth taco down the throat.

Tyler's eyes shoot up to Josh's neck embarrassed, whereas Josh just rolls his eyes.

"Brendon, I'm not going to fall for that trick twice. And I highly doubt that whole taco bell wants to know about that", Josh says putting a calming hand on Tyler's thigh, who sits to his right. As soon as Tyler realizes that he just fell for Brendon's trick, his face goes a deep shape of red, covering his face with one hand.

Brendon bursts out in laughter again and looks at Ryan next to him, who looks just as embarassed as Tyler. Brendon, once again, earns some looks from annoyed people. Josh is almost certain that the day will come when Brendon actually gets thrown out.

"Jeez Brendon why do always have to be so direct?", Ryan mumbles and covers his face with his hands as well.

"Maybe you didn't fall for it again Josh, but Tyler did", Brendon says triumphantly, ignoring Ryans question but then turns around to face him.

"You owe me 10 dollars now, I told you they made out", he says and Tyler's eyes immediately widen, face getting even redder. Josh takes his right hand off of Tyler's thigh and lays it around the boys waist, pulling him closer. Tyler looks at him shocked first, not expecting Josh to do so, but Josh just looks at him with a calm expression.

"Is this ok?", Josh leans in and whispers only for Tyler to hear. In the meantime, Ryan and Brendon who sit across the table discuss who's more likely to win the most bets. And Josh really isn't sure if he wants to know how many bets they're having that are about Tyler and him.

Tyler's eyes quickly scan his surroundings before he leans into the touch, side pressing against Josh, head resting on his chest. Tyler's right arm comes up slowly but surely, making it's way under Josh's open jacket. His hand lays down flat on Josh's stomach, feeling the rising and falling when he breathes. Josh's arm tightens around Tyler as he lowers his head so that his mouth hovers somewhere above the smaller boys temple.

"You know, if you're uncomfortable you don't have to-", Josh begins but then gets cut off by Tyler snapping his head up. He cross-eyes Josh and gives him a small smile. And Josh just thinks it looks way too cute, so he just smiles back at Tyler with crinkly eyes.

"I'm very ok with cuddling with you, but- I mean I don't want to get you in trouble again. And because of Brendon and Ryan and-", Tyler says as a worried expression passes his face. He seems to figure out what to say next, but Josh just lays his head against Tyler's.

"Don't worry about that please. I think... I think I'm ok with Brendon and Ryan knowing and-"

"Well obviously you're ok with us knowing about you guys. If you weren't then you'd be really bad at hiding it", Brendon suddenly snaps and points at the cuddled up couple. Tyler and Josh look up in surprise and Ryan looks as if he wants to punch Brendon again.

But it's true that Josh is ok with them knowing. Since he met Tyler, he's come to some point where he doesn't want to hide himself anymore. Tyler made Josh... well- more Josh-like. Not only when it comes to his sexuality, but in understanding his actions and feelings better than before. It's like Tyler understands Josh better than he himself. Yes, the change of his situation does make him feel weird sometimes, that's also a side effect of his anxiety, but in the end he thinks it is good that things happened like they happen- or still happen at the time. And he hopes Tyler feels the same way, because he's never felt so connected to somebody before. It still may sound crazy because they don't know each other that long, but the feeling that there is something special about Tyler hasn't left yet. And Josh doubts that it will leave any time soon. Or that it will ever leave. It's never felt more natural with someone, except for Brendon maybe, but of course Brendon's and his relationship is different from what Tyler and Josh have.

"And by the way, the blond guy from the party got thrown out of school if you meant that by not  _"wanting to get Josh into trouble"_  Tyler. Josh is head over heals for you, seriously, as if you would get him into any trouble", Brendon says, interrupting Josh's thoughts, and looks at Ryan, waiting for a reaction. But Ryan just burries his head in his hand again.

"Brendon seriously, can you shut up for at least once", Ryan mumbles annoyed even though you could see his smile peeking through his fingers.

"Did you two seriously listen to Ty's and my conversation?", Josh asks in amusement. It's not that he isn't ok with that or upset, they are in public so he can't blame them. But it's just so typical for Brendon, so he can't help but smile and notice the blush creeping up Tyler's face.

"Well, kind of. But then Brendon, of course had to open his stupid mouth again and make a comment", Ryan sobs as Brendon looks at him with glistering eyes. Josh knows the two could never be angry at each other for longer than a minute, and he kind of adores it.

"You suck Brendon", Josh laughs and kicks his best friend under the table.

"And you swallow", Brendon counters cheekily, earning another look from Ryan. Now it's Josh's time to blush heavily, whereas Tyler bursts out in loud laughter. Seriously, Josh's never seen Tyler like that. He laughs like a little monkey and it may be the cutest laugh Josh's ever heard. He feels his heart melting at Tyler's warm giggles that send small vibrations through hiss body. When Tyler realizes that the three of them stare at him with wide smiles, he quickly presses his hand against his mouth.

"Oh my god, your laugh is so darn adorable", Josh says as he grins at blushing Tyler.

"It's horrible", Tyler says embarrassed and burries his face in Josh's chest. Josh kisses the side of Tyler's forehead and chuckles at his cuteness as he tightens his grip around him.

"I love it", Josh whisperes. Tyler is just the sweetest human on earth.

"AWWWW GUYS YOU ARE SO-", Brendon says interrupting a moment once more, causing Ryan to eventually punch him. Brendon shrieks a loud  _"OW"_  and shimmies away from Ryan.

"Brendon how do you always disturb moments? And stop screaming, you literally terrify people including me", Ryan says like a mom and receives a funny face from Brendon next to him.

"YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE QUIET LAST NIGHT-  _OH BRENDON PLEASE LET ME_ -", Brendon says jokingly and as soon as the word's slip out of his mouth, Ryan's hands rush forward to press his hands against Brendon's mouth so that muffled sounds escape him. Ryan's face starts to burn red like crazy, and now it's Josh time to laugh out loud. 

Even with Ryan's hands on Brendon's mouth, the black haired boy won't stop doing immitations of Ryan. 

"YES BREND- RIGHT THE-", Brendon shouts through the hand on his mouth, and Ryan gets redder and redder every second. Tyler eventually laughs too now, nuzzling into Josh's embrace even more as the watch their two friends being silly. Josh looks down to Tyler who grins at him. Josh will never get enough of his smile.

He slowly lowers his face, nudging the side of Tyler's face with his nose. The smaller turns his head completely now, faces hovering in front of each others once more. 

"You're adorable", Josh whisperes, Brendon and Ryan still being idiots in the background. Tyler gives him a shy smile and quickly pecks Josh on the nose.

"You're more adorable", Tyler answers and leans forward again, capuring Josh's lips in his own. It's sweet and simple and perfect and makes Josh want to kiss him again. Kissing Tyler just makes him so happy. Well, actually everything having to do with Tyler makes him very happy.

Josh realizes that this was just their first public kiss. And instead of being scared of it, of his sexuality or what other people might think, he feels great. He feels happy. Because Tyler makes him happy. And Josh accepts that. He loves it. He thinks to their makeout session days ago, making his stomach feeling fuzzy and warm at the thought that it might not be the last time he gets to kiss Tyler like that.

"AWW", Brendon says muffled, eventually making Ryan take his hand away. His face is still red as heck but the both of them apparently calmed down again. Instead of saying something, they just look at each other with glistering eyes and a warm, loving expression. And then Josh's mind goes completely blank for a second- wait. And he thinks, face scrunching confused as his mind still tries to connect the pieces. But before he can say anything, Tyler opens his mouth.

"Wait, are you guys together or something?", Tyler asks as he shifts in his seat, saying exactly what Josh had just tried to figure out. Brendon gives Ryan a quick look, but then turns around to face Tyler. He's about to say something, but Brendon- out of all people- apparently can't find the right words. So to their surprise, Ryan grabs Brendon's hand.

"We actually wanted to tell you together with Patrick and Pete. But well- yes", Ryan says, earning a fond expression from Brendon.

"Well, that escalated quickly but... WHAT- WAIT - BRENDON, why'd you never told me you have a thing for Ryan?", Josh asks confused, feeling little vibrations as Tyler giggles for the second time now.

"OH C'MON AS IF YOU SHARED YOUR GAY THOUGHTS ABOUT TYLER WITH ME.", Brendon shouts. People look at them once again, thanks to Brendon, and Ryan turns around and mumbles quick apologizes to no one in paticular. Josh's face turns red again, but then he feels Tyler's hand coming up to rest on the area that connects neck and shoulder, using his thumb to rub slow circles against the soft skin. It's just a simple move but it makes Josh feel relaxed and loved.

"So- what about you guys? Are you like- a thing too?", Brendon suddenly asks hesitantly. Josh notices that Tyler stopped with his movements. Josh feels his face fall and his heart starting to race, because honestly- he doesn't know. They haven't talked about it yet. Tyler glances at him quickly, unsure of what to say. Josh wishes he could just say yes, and could say that they are  _boyfriends_. They are kind of, even though it's unspoken. But what if a relationship is something Tyler isn't ready for. What if Tyler can only kiss Josh but can't call him his  _boyfriend_? Josh feels his anxiety kicking in, because the word is so simple but has so much meaning. It's a connection he wants to share with Tyler, he needs to share with Tyler. But what if Tyler doesn't want that? What if he doesn't need Josh in the same way? Is Josh to clingy? Is he not good enough? 

Tyler seems to notice Josh worries and gives him a sad expression. Josh's face is taken in Tyler's small, soft hands as if his face is the most precious thing in the world. He holds it as if he's fragile, as if it could break any moment. His eyes are so warm and fill Josh with so much affection and love. They exchange small, shy smiles before Josh bends down and kisses him. Still, his thoughts are there, not planning on leaving soon. It scares him so so much, he can't imagine how it is without Tyler anymore. But right now the warmth of his lips give him energy and he just tries to push the negativity away, creating space for different things. Creating space for something other than anxiety. And Josh wonders if that space could be filled by Tyler forever. 

They pull apart, Tyler pecking him on lips again, and look back to Brendon and Ryan. Ryan keeps slapping Brendon all over his body, mumbling small  _"idiots"_  towards him. Brendon couldn't know of course, and Josh isn't mad at him for asking about their relationship status, he really isn't. It's good that he just said that, because now Josh can actually ask Tyler later. Talk to Tyler if they're, like-  _a thing_. He needs to know what Tyler thinks about it, even though he's scared of the answer. He needs Tyler so desperately, it's probably unhealthy.

"JEEZ, why would I know", Brendon mumbles as he tries to dodge Ryan's slaps. They haven't answered the question yet, but at least the topic "boyfriends" seems to dropped by now and he can go back to cuddling Tyler. He's just so happy to have his warm breath and body against his side right now, it makes him feel safe. It'd make him feel better when he'd know if Tyler is his boyfriend.

"So- Brendon, your Ryan impression, the one you did earlier. Was that a joke or...?", Tyler suddenly asks jokingly and giggles, trying to change the topic. Josh remembers how Brendon had immitated Ryan at sex earlier. So does he remember Ryan's red face, and now that the two of them are together it kinda makes sense.

Ryan seems to remember too, because his face gets really red while Brendon just grins widely at Tyler, who bursts out in laughter at that.

"Oh my- Jesus, Brendon, I'm happy you guys are together but please, I don't wanna hear about your sex life", Josh laughs, followed by Tyler and Brendon. Ryan of course, burries his head in his hands.

"I hate you guys", Ryan groans. He doesn't.

While the group kept sharing their Thursday afternoon laughing and joking, Josh couldn't seem to find himself feeling that happy anymore. The thoughts of the whole boyfriend topic chased him the whole time, the voices in his had encouraging his anxiety to keep going, to keep worrying. Now and then Tyler would kiss him and ask if he was ok, but Josh only nodded and tried to be a part of their conversation as well, even though he isn't feeling like talking anymore. He just wants to take Tyler, cuddle and sleep and forget about his anxiety. Tyler's worried expressions didn't go unnoticed, and Josh really appreciated that, but he finds himself overthinking the whole time. 

That is until a hands grabs his upper thigh softly as a pair of lips appear next to his ear.

"You free this evening?", Tyler suddenly whisperes when Ryan and Brendon aren't looking, hot breath sending a shiver down his body. Josh's heart goes faster as he turns his head so that he can see Tyler directly in the eyes.

"Always", Josh whisperes back, eyes now glued to Tyler's pinkish-pouty lips. Tyler gives him a long kiss, hands cupping his face once more. Josh bends down to connect their foreheads as soon as they pull apart, worries and people around him actually forgotten for a moment.

"Don't worry, ok? I gotcha, we're going to be rebellious tonight, we're going to get our minds free and have a little fun", Tyler says with a small smile on his lips, about to pull away, but then leans in again. "And- I mean it by don't worry. You've always told me not to worry, and I trusted you. Now you have to trust me, so don't worry, it'll be ok."

And then Josh is excited what they're going to do tonight, what Tyler is up to. What he meant by  _"we're going to be rebellious tonight."_  He is happy that Tyler is so caring and loving even though he probably doesn't know why Josh feels so anxious. He's happy that Tyler trusts him, that he wants Josh to trust him too. He knows Tyler will make him feel good, because they care for each other, because they need each other. He is amazed at how Tyler seems to read his mind, how he knows what Josh feels before he knows it himself. He wants to cry because no one has ever been like that to Josh. No one has ever told him so much with such few words. And Josh only reaches forward and gives Tyler a long tongue kiss. He ignores Brendon's  _"EW GROSS"_ , he ignores the rest of the people sitting in taco bell. He just kisses Tyler and listens to his happy, humming sounds. He listens to their breaths, to their touches.

And then he thinks, maybe he really loves Tyler. Maybe he really is head over heals for him. Maybe this is what love truly feels like.

\-----

It's around 10pm when Tyler and Josh arrive at their room, but instead of entering, Tyler let's Josh's hand go and puts it against the door frame so that the way to their shared room is blocked.

"Are you ready for the adventurous adventures of Jishwa and Tyler?", Tyler asks with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Why is my nickname still Jishwa?", he asks back, not answering the question, and gives him a crinkle-eyed smile.

"Because you're  _my_  Jishwa. I'll always and forever call you Jishwa", Tyler says, hand still blocking the way. But as soon as he realizes that he just said  _"my Jishwa"_ , he let's his hand drop and looks a little taken aback. The boyfriend talk from earlier crosses Josh's mind, and now that Tyler just called him _his,_  he can't deny that he is very turned on. Now it's Tyler's time to worry, and Josh doesn't want him to. Because he wants him in that way too. He wants to call Tyler his too. And the fact that Tyler just said it as if it is obvious that Josh is _his_  makes him lose all his self-control. 

Josh walks towards Tyler, takes his face harshly in his hand's and crushes their lips together firmly. Tyler moans softly at the sudden action and let's his body be overtaken by Josh's, and with that gets pushed against their room door. Josh comes forward, pressing his own body against Tyler's desperately, feeling two arms around him that grab his jacket tightly. The feeling of their warm bodies against each other makes feel Josh weak once more, wanting to feel Tyler so much more than just between layers of clothing. He wants to let his hands wander up and down Tyler's body, wants to find his weak and sensible spots. Wants to make him moan Josh's name. He wants Tyler to  _love_  him.

Now Josh is the one biting down on Tyler's bottom lip, who sighs at that needily. He feels Tyler's mouth open and shoves his tongue in, making Tyler shriek but tighten his grip around Josh's waist even more. It makes a smacking sound when they close their mouths again, making the both of their hearts beating even faster and their stomachs tinglier.

Josh needs that. He needs Tyler. Not only in a physical way, he wants to be soothed by Tyler every single day, he wants to wake up to him every day, wants to be happy every day. Tyler would show him sides of Josh that he doesn't even know he has- Tyler would always be there. And the kissing makes the connection he has with Tyler only more clear to him. He needs the harshness of their kiss to release the desperation and the anxiety he's felt over the past years. Because it feels so good to finally know that the feeling of happiness and love still exists in someone who doubts himself on a daily basis. Who is scared of never being good enough.  _God, he wants to be so good for Tyler._

Josh actually feels himself getting sad. Sad in a good kind of way, the relieving kind of way. He still doesn't know if they're boyfriends, but Tyler's here right now. And that matters. Tyler makes him feel love right now.

He slows down their kissing, feels the warmth in his stomach, feels his pounding heart, listens to his brain that finally starts to cooperate with his emotions and actions including Tyler. It's the best he's ever felt, thanks to Tyler. Thanks to a boy he barely knows for 3 weeks. But Tyler is different, Josh just knows. From the moment Tyler walked into the classroom, Josh knew. The sting in his stomach back then was because  _he knew_. And Josh wonders if something like fate really exists.

_Tyler._

He breaks their kiss and takes the smaller boys hips quickly, picking him up in one fell swoop. The boy shrieks shortly but then swings his legs around Josh's waist, back pressed against the door again. Josh nuzzles his head in Tyler's crook, taking in his scent with a deep breath. He presses small kisses against his collar bone as he feels Tyler do so against the side of Josh's head. His hands run through Josh's hair softly, legs still tightly wrapped around his waist. They tighten their grip around each other even more if that's even possible, silence and cold of the night enseathing them.

"Thank you Tyler", Josh suddenly whispers against Tyler's neck for no reason in particular. He's just thankful that Tyler is here with him right now. That Tyler kisses and holds him as if Josh is the most important person alive. As if he loves Josh. As if he really cares for him.

Tyler's hands untangle from Josh's hair and takes his face in his hands. Josh slowly looks up to Tyler, who is still pressed against their door, and examines the boys beautiful face from their short distance. He examines Tyler's hazel eyes, his pouty lips, his pointed nose, everything. And he loves them. He loves everything about Tyler, he can't help it.

Tyler smiles at him understanding and kisses him with affection once more. Josh could let himself kiss from Tyler forever. He wants to drown in his lips, wants to lose himself in those eyes, wants to feel his breath against his skin forever.

"Wanna go inside and cuddle? We can watch a movie if you want to", Tyler mumbles against Josh's lips. First Josh wants to agree, loving the idea of spending the night together, but then he remembers that Tyler has  _"rebellious_ " plans for tonight. Josh doesn't know what exactly he means by it but he's curious.

"I'd love to but- You wanted to do something different, at least you said so at taco bell. You wanted to be rebellious", Josh says and chuckles.

"Yeah, but we don't have to if you don't want to. We can do it another time too if-", Tyler says and gets cut of by Josh pecking his lips.

"Nah- I'm curious, let's do it. I'm up for rebellious Tyler Joseph", Josh says happily, eyes crinkling up as he smiles.

"Ok then", Tyler says and pecks Josh's lips as well. Josh could explode of happiness. He's sure his obsession with Tyler is unhealthy, voices in his head telling him that Josh is too needy and clingy once more. But he just tries to shove his negativity away. Tyler wants Josh to forget his worries, he's said so earlier. And when Tyler wants that, Josh is willing to cooperate. If Tyler wants Josh to be happy, he is. And happy Josh makes Tyler happy too.

He puts the boy carefully back on the ground and leans in to kiss Tyler one last time. But instead of lips he feels a hand pressed against his mouth. Tyler's hand. Josh panicks for a second. Has he done something wrong? What if Tyler doesn't want to kiss Josh anymore? But then he sees Tyler smiling at him softly, and Josh knows everthing is ok.

"Don't ruin my plans with your pretty pink lips now. My rebellious plans are serious buisness", Tyler says and giggles, and eventually gives Josh a sweet long kiss after removing his hand from Josh's mouth. And Josh couldn't help but grin at Tyler's words.  _Pretty pink lips._ He feels his heart pounding, wanting to be closer to Tyler, wanting to hold him forever. Wants to melt into their kisses again. He thinks back to their makeout session a few days ago for the second time today, and immediately wants to be close to Tyler again. Closer.

_You're needy Josh. Stop being clingy. He will leave you if you keep doing that. No one likes these kind of people. No one wants a boyfriend like that._

And Tyler, of course seems to read his mind again and takes Josh's face in his hand once more this evening. He peppers kisses all over his face, causing the both of them to giggle.

" _My_  Jishwa, stop worrying. Don't worry your pretty little head, do it for me please. And now come on, let's clear your minds."

He said it again.  _My Jishwa._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is a lil better, feel free to comment my frens 
> 
> I actually kinda like the chapter. Can I say that as an author? lmao
> 
> BUT GUYS
> 
> IT'S SIN TIME SOON AGAIN YAS BIIIIIITCH


	9. Poor piano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sin for my thirsty children
> 
> And fluff
> 
> It's cute
> 
> And it's 5.5k long have fun you guys
> 
> lol

"Where are we going?", Josh giggles as Tyler drags him across the whole campus.

"You'll see", Tyler giggles back, trying his best not to be too loud and cause attention. It's dark outside, so he and Tyler kind of sneak from one light source to another. Josh is excited where Tyler is leading them and can't stop grinning at the thought that he does this for Josh only. 

"You are quite the rebel Tyler Joseph, sneaking around the campus after 10pm. What would your mother say if she knew?", Josh says with a teasing undertone, squeezing Tyler's hand slightly. Tyler slaps his upper arm playfully and stops walking to give him a peck on the lips.

"My mother would be so so disappointed", he says jokingly and pecks Josh's lips once more before he starts jogging again. Josh still grins, the feeling of Tyler's lips still noticeable on his own. He lets himself lead by Tyler, still wondering what he has on his mind. Then he realizes that they haven't really left the campus yet, but walk towards the school building.

"Rebel Tyler Joseph goes to school at night, jeez. People must switch the street when they see you", Josh teases again. Tyler bursts out in his monkey laughter again, causing Josh's heart to jump in affection.

"I hate you", Tyler giggles and slows down his pace a bit.

"You love me", Josh says with an eye roll, before he even realizes that it could sound wrong.  _You are so clingy Josh, stop it._

Tyler doesn't say something at first and eventually slows down their pace so that they are walking, breaths heavier because of their jogging. If Tyler is confused or scared, he doesn't show it though. For a moment Josh fears that he really went too far on what he's just said, but then Tyler turns to face Josh.

"Of course I do", Tyler chuckles with ease and holds Josh's hands tighter. And Josh feels as if his heart is going to burst any second. Maybe Tyler didn't even realize the confession he's just made, maybe he doesn't even mean it like that, but Josh can't help the wave of happiness that overcomes him. He can't help but grin and wanting to kiss him, he can't the feeling of wanting to tell him he loves him too. He loves the light-heartedness he feels when he's with Tyler. The ease and excitement that always overcomes him, as if he's a child again.

By then Josh realizes that they stand in front of their school, a window hidden behind trees and bushes to be exact. Josh furrows his brows and feels Tyler's hand letting go of his own, instead digging it in the pockets of his jeans.

"What are we doing here?", Josh asks confused. He watches Tyler pulling a key out and wiggles it in front of his face.

"Mrs. Benson gave me the key to the music room the other day, she said I could use it any time I want. So I guess 10pm is fine as well", Tyler giggles. "You once told me that you play drums to calm down, to switch off. So I figured-"

Before Tyler could continue to speak, Josh presses his lips against Tyler's firmly. Tyler remembers what he's told him, he remembers how much drumming means to Josh. He could cry right away, too speechless to do anything else. Only the two of them in a room that is there to be filled with music. A place Josh can pure all his heart into, a place he can share with Tyler only. It may seem like a small gesture, but to Josh it's the world. Especially when he can share his passion with Tyler.

"You remembered", Josh says taken aback as they part. 

"Of course I did", Tyler says, already knowing what Josh means as he lets his hands slide down Josh's chest slowly.

"But wait- the room is on the second floor. How do we get up there?"

"I'll show you", Tyler says and takes back his hands to put it on the tree. He starts to climb up the tree slowly, putting his hands an feet confidently from one branch to another like a monkey. The movements are way too controlled, he must've done this before. Not climbing in general, but this tree in particular. And from one second to another Tyler sits on a branch that has the exact height like the second floor, covered in leaves so that Josh could barely see him. The night doesn't make his sight better, so he tries to figure out where exactly he has to climb by the rustling sounds Tyler makes when he himself tries to climb up that tree.

"Uh- this is more difficult than expected", Josh says, stepping his foot on a branch, not touching the ground anymore. He tries to climb up the tree slowly and keeps trying to figure what branches Tyler had used, but fails and just heaves himself up somehow. Tyler made it look easy, got up there elegant, whereas Josh looks like a complete idiot. He hears Tyler's giggles somewhere above him, coming closer to him every second.

"It was difficult for me at first too, don't worry. You're doing good", Tyler encourages him, before Josh spots his legs hanging down in between the leaves. He reaches out to the branch the boy sits on and heaves himself up one last time before he swings his leg around the trees limb. Tyler's eyes glister as he watches Josh appear in front of him, breathing heavier.

"Jeez, how often have you climbed up here already?", Josh says and watches Tyler grin at his question.

"Two times", Tyler says laughing and turns around to crawl towards the window. Josh shakes his head with a smile at that boy and crawls after him, paying extra much attention not to fall down and embarrass or hurt himself.

"I always tilt the window when leaving school, so I can go here whenever I want to. The windows have to same lock as the doors as I figured out one time. Watch me", Tyler says thrilled, eyes full of passion.

"You little rebel you", Josh snickers one more time and does as he's told. He watches Tyler standing up before leaning against the buildings wall. Josh is worried Tyler falls down any second, but he just trusts him on this one and keeps examining how the hand that holds the keys sneak inside the crack where the window is opened. He twists his hand in a weird angle, but eventually manages to put the key in the little lock and turn it.

"Tyler that is so awesome, how did you find out?", Josh says just as thrilled and watches Tyler pushing the window open, slipping inside.

"Sleepless nights and boredom", Tyler admits as Josh crawls inside the room as well. It isn't even that difficult since the gap in between the window and the tree is barely there. Tyler touches his way through the room and turns on the light, causing the both of them to squint their eyes together.

The room's walls are white, the floor beige, and the only color it gets is from the warmth of the yellowish-light and the music instruments sprawled around the room. Josh has always thought of this like a metaphor. A room is just a plain room until it gets filled with the colorful things you love, like music. The music lets the room live, lets the colors dance along to the beat of what you create. Everything harmonizes with it, emphasizes you and gives you air to breathe. It gives you new space when it clears your mind from worries and bad thoughts, only to be filled with creativity and passion again. It's probably one of Josh's favorite places, and he's already sad to leave it next year. But he promises himself to have a room like this for only him and his music one day. 

"We gotta be quiet though. One time I was here, and there was this charwomen and she almost spotted me. If she would've caught me I would've been so screwed", Tyler laughs and walks over to the piano. "Some time you have to drum for me, but I think it'd be too loud now."

Josh looks over to the drums in the corner of the room, and immediately feels the urge to walk over and drum the shit out of this thing. Drum the worries out of his head, drum until he can't feel his own body anymore. He loves the ease he feels while playing, what makes it even more sad because Tyler is right. They are definitely going to get caught if Josh starts drumming now. The soothing feeling he always gets in here reaches him anyway, and he is even happier that Tyler brought him here. 

"I love it in here, gosh you have no idea. Well you kinda do, you brought me here", Josh admits as he walks over to Tyler who watches him happily from his piano seat.

"I'm glad you do", he chuckles and watches Josh getting on his knees in front of him, putting his hands on both of Tyler's knees. They just look at each other for a moment, eyes sparkling in admiration, when Tyler cups Josh's face with his hands and leans forward, bending down a little. He slowly kisses Josh on the forehead first, then the tip of his nose and then his lips. Every move careful, every kiss saying more than words could. Josh leans into the touch, closes his eyes and hums softly as he lets himself getting kissed and touched by Tyler. His hands run carefully through Josh's hair, move down his face and neck, fingers exploring every inch of his face, letting him forget every single thing on his mind. He loves these little touches, loves how Tyler's eyes crinkle up when he sees that Josh reacts to it, the list is endless. He never wants to miss any of those sensation.

"I brought you here for a reason though. You were so absent-minded today, and I thought maybe this would cheer you up a bit. It's not finished yet, I wanted to show you when I'm done... But as I said, I thought- maybe you'd feel a little better. Um- I wrote you something. A song", Tyler says hesitantly, struggling with the words as he says it.

Josh's eyes widen at his words. He opens his mouth but is too speechless to say something, so he just sits on the floor and stares up to Tyler in disbelief. Tyler wrote a song for him. A song for Josh. A song, full of emotions, full of thoughts, just for him. Written by Tyler. A freaking song.

"You- what", Josh says, still too speechless to actually react to Tyler's words. The love he feels right in this moment is too much to be put into words, too full of meaning to be described. He just wants to jump up and hug Tyler. He wants to show him how much it means to him, how much he appreciates what Tyler is doing to him. And Josh feels guilty for doing so little for Tyler, for showing him so little love, for not showing him enough appreciation. And yet, Tyler does so much for him. He doesn't deserve Tyler the slightest.

"Tyler, you didn't have to do this. I don't deserve this- I can't give you anything back- I", Josh rambles with a lump in his throat. The words just bubble out of him and he can't hold himself back even if you wants to. 

"You deserve the world Joshie, honestly. And I don't want anything in return, I'd write a thousand songs for you if I had only time. But please, don't get too excited, it's not ready and you don't even know if you like it yet", Tyler giggles as he keeps stroking Josh's cheek. And Josh's heart feels like it's going to burst any second again. He really just wants to show Tyler how much this means to him, how much  _he_  means to him. He uses so many words over in over, not even coming close to what he actually wants to say. And yet, Tyler uses so few to make Josh happy, uses so few to make everything feel alright. So he just smiles up to Tyler, purring at his hands on his own skin and hopes he understands. Hopes he understands how much these words mean to him. He leans into the touch even more, tilting his head slightly as the words echo in his head over and over.  _You deserve the world Joshie._

"Tyler, I don't know what to say... You don't know how much this means to me, honestly", Josh growls and gives him a longing look. Tyler kisses him softly again, what might be the thousandth kiss today. Not that he complains.

"I think I do, but you tell me", Tyler says with crinkly-eyes and let's go of Josh's face. And one day, Josh will tell him.

"Let me play for you now, but I have to be really quiet", Tyler says, reminding himself as he turns around in the stool to face the piano. Josh realizes that this is the first time he gets to see Tyler play and is even more excited, affection and nosey growing with every second Tyler isn't playing yet. He crawls next to his stool, so that he gets to see Tyler from the side and sees him stretching his finger. Josh smiles at him from his place on the ground, once again wondering what he has done to deserve Tyler's dedication. Tyler smiles back at him on last time, before looking back to the piano, walking his fingers over the instruments keys playfully. And then he starts to play.

 _You say things with your mouth_  
_Cobwebs and flies come out_  
_I hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow_  
_Luckily I can read your mind_  
_Flies and cobwebs unwind_  
_They will not take you down_  
_They will not cast you out, out._

The melody of the song is sweet and catchy, and Josh can't help but smile at the "luckily I can read your mind" part, because it's just true. Tyler plays the piano so intense but silent at the same time, voice louder than the piano but still not too loud. He seems completely drown in his music, fingers dancing over the keys with an ease like Josh has never seen it before.

 _Dear friend, here we are again pretending_  
_To understand how you think your world is ending_  
_Sending signals and red flags in waves_  
_It's hard to tell the difference between blood and water these days_  
_I'll pray that one day you see_  
_The only difference between life and dying_  
_Is one is trying, that's all we're going to do_  
_So try to love me and I'll try to save you._

Tyler raps this part flawlessly, head shaking in between verses heavily. His body bends forward the more intense the song gets, his voice louder with every word he sings. Josh can hardly follow the lines, but when he raps "so try to love me and I'll try to save you", his hearts fastens and he wonders if Tyler is serious about it, if Tyler wants him to try and love him.

 _Won't you stay alive_  
_I'll take you on a ride_  
_I will make you believe you are lovely._

Before Josh can even say something, the music dies down and Tyler turns around in his stool, sitting sidewards, and looks down to Josh with a slightly heavier breath. His eyes are glistering in nervousness of what Josh will say to his song. Josh is speechless once more, he hadn't expected Tyler to be  _that_  good.

"Um- you know the song isn't finished yet and- um... I'll probably change some things and-", Tyler says with a shaky undertone and scratches the back of his head. But instead of saying something, Josh gets up and sits down in front of Tyler on the small stool to press his lips against Tyler firmly. Tyler gasps into the kiss when he suddenly feels Josh's hands pulling on the underside of Tyler's upper legs. He lifts his legs slightly and Josh pulls Tyler closer to him, so that the smaller boy could wrap his legs around his waist completely. Their chests flush together, arms and hands all over each other’s bodies.

"Jesus, Tyler. That is the sickest shit I've ever heard. Did you really write that yourself? That is so amazing, I didn't know you are so talented", Josh babbles overwhelmed, looking at grinning Tyler directly in front of him.

"I'm glad you like it. Thank you Jishwa", Tyler giggles, insecurities gone and blushes at Josh's words as he tightens his grip around Josh's neck

"Honestly, this is so incredible! The lyrics is so good, the melody is amazing. Your voice is so beautiful Tyler, you're so beautiful", Josh admits, and watches Tyler breaking their eye contact to blush even harder.

"Thank you, but I'm seriously not that good. It's ok. But I hope it's at least enough to cheer you up a bit, that's what I'm all about", Tyler giggles as his hand makes his way into Josh's hair slowly.

"More than that", Josh purrs against Tyler's ear lovingly, causing the boy to shiver. "Tyler... You can't just dedicate a song to me and hope to get away with it that easily. It means a hella lot to me. You mean a hella lot to me." And Josh means it. He has never felt such a strong connection to someone else. When Tyler sang, he's had such a strong urge to reach out and hold him.

"You mean a lot to me too, Josh. And I meant every single verse I just sang, I really do", Tyler admits as well and strokes Josh's cheek a few times.

 _"So try to love me and I'll try to save you",_ Tyler suddenly whispers against Josh's ear with a giggle, nose slightly scratching against Josh's cheeks and jaw when he moves his face to press small kisses against his skin. But instead of getting even more turned on, Josh's face falls and he suddenly has to think of the earlier conversation with Brendon and Ryan. That Tyler isn't  _his_. That Tyler and Josh aren't a thing. And even if Tyler wrote this song for him, Josh is way too scared to lose Tyler. Tyler could go so easily, and he wouldn't even have to explain Josh why. Because he isn't bound to Josh, what makes Josh want to hold on to Tyler even tighter.

"Hey, you're worrying again. Same as earlier?", Tyler asks worried as he stops kissing along Josh's face, and instead looks at him with sad eyes.

"Yeah- kinda", Josh mumbles and swallows hard. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

Josh does, he really does want to talk about it. But he doesn't want to bother Tyler. especially when it comes to the topic relationship. He doesn't want to creep Tyler out.

"You can tell me, really. You know I won't judge you", Tyler says encouraging, reading Josh's mind once more. Josh sighs and takes Tyler's free hand in his, anxious thoughts flooding his thoughts. But he decides to tell him anyway, he's too nervous to wait for an answer, and now they're talking about anyway so maybe Josh should just tell him.

"Um-", Josh stumbles, not really knowing how to put it into words. "The conversation with Brendon and Ryan- uh. Well about- about our relationship..."

He looks at Tyler nervously, but Tyler just looks at him with the same encouraging expression as before as his hand keeps running through the red mob of Josh's hair. 

"And- Tyler you really mean the world to me. I- it sounds so dumb but- I don't want to lose you- but", Josh says, struggling harder and harder how to explain it from sentence to sentence. He sighs exhausted, earning an understanding face from Tyler.

"Oh Josh", Tyler sighs and leans forward to kiss his lips slowly and softly.

"You won't lose me because I won't let you go either", Tyler sweetly mumbles against his mouth.

Josh's eyes widen at the confession as he feels Tyler's lips on his again. Against his jaw, his cheek and the tip of his nose. Such soft, meaningful touches Josh feels burning on his skin. He feels Tyler's hand squeezing his slightly, before leaning back again. But the only thing on Josh's mind is that Tyler needs him just as much. Tyler won't let Josh go, and Josh wouldn't lose Tyler.

"Hey, Joshie. Look at me", Tyler whispers as he lifts Josh's chin with his finger slightly. Josh didn't even realize that his eyes were down on their intertwined hands, being even happier to see Tyler's hazel eyes again. These warm, soft eyes that could make Josh feel loved in seconds.

"Josh?", Tyler whispers. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

His heart starts to race like crazy, breath turning unsteady and fast. His mind isn't working at all, and he can't help but stare at Tyler with an open mouth.

"What?", Josh whispers in disbelief, eyes roaming over Tyler's face in order to find out if he is serious. Everything seems so surreal right now, he doesn't know where up and down is. He only knows that Tyler is here, right next to him. That Tyler's scent surrounds him, that his legs are wrapped around Josh's waist and that he looks at Josh as if he's the most precious thing he's ever laid eyes on.

"Really?", Josh asks, eyes glued to Tyler's.

"Yes. You don't have to answer right now, you-", Tyler giggles but eventually gets cut off by Josh's lips smashing against his. He presses his full body against Tyler, kiss turning heavier and more demanding than expected. His arms have such a tight grip around Tyler that Josh is worried if Tyler can even breath.

"Yes, I want that. I want to be your boyfriend", Josh babbles maybe a little to quickly and overwhelmed, causing Tyler to giggle in between Josh's firm smacks against his mouth.

"I can call you mine now, officially", Tyler gasps in between hot, breathy kisses. "You're  _mine_. My Joshie. Is that ok?"

Josh presses his lips even harder against Tyler's if that's even possible, causing Tyler to moan softly. His hands make their way down Tyler's back, his mind still way to muzzy to actually realize what is happening right now. Hearing Tyler talk like that is just way too hot, and he feels his stomach getting tighter and the lower half of his body getting way faster interested than it probably should. But he can't help his tight pants when Tyler's hands start to explore every inch of Josh's chest, lips crushing just as hard against Josh's as his own. And the thought that he's doing this with his _boyfriend_  is even hotter.

"Yes- god Tyler, call me yours", he breathes needily against Tyler's lips as his hands rush forward to grip Tyler's hips firmly. His thumbs press into his hipbones firmly as he bites down on Tyler's bottom lip, causing the younger boy to moan in the back of his throat. One of Tyler's hand entangles in Josh's hair, pulling at it slightly as he feels Josh's tongue licking its way into his mouth. Tyler moans even louder at that, room filled with their needy breaths and kisses.

" _My_  Jishwa", he huffs against Josh's mouth breathily, causing Josh to groan. Tyler suddenly closes the small space in between them, legs hugging even tighter around Josh's waist and pulling himself on his lap. The second he sits down on his lap, Josh moans loudly, tongues still entangled. He feels Tyler's growing bulge against his own, choking out another moan when he suddenly feels Tyler pressing his butt down on his crotch, making his cock twitch heavily. And it just becomes to much for Josh. He grabs Tyler's butt and shoves it all the way up to his lower half so that it crushes against Josh's lower belly. Josh lifts Tyler up and shoves away the stool they just sat on. He needs more of Tyler, now. 

"Josh- what-ah- what are you-?", Tyler groans, but gets cut off when Josh smashes him down on the piano's keys. The piano makes a horrible loud sound, causing the both of them to startle.

"Shit- I hope- no one- oh my god", Josh mumbles but immediately feels Tyler's wet, hungry mouth attacking his neck again. His legs wrap around Josh's waist once more, pulling their crotches together and bucks up his hips to meet Josh's even better. Josh can't control his moans anymore, mind too dizzy by Tyler sucking heavily against his neck and Josh. Tyler's hot tongue darts out to lick his skin in between the kisses. They have never ever kissed like that, but Josh loves it. His lower half seems to love it too. 

"Brendon can have his hickey now", Tyler whispers seductively against Josh's hot skin, teeth pulling at the sensitive areas he's already sucked on. Josh had no idea Tyler could talk like that, but he could get more than used to it. Josh especially loses it when Tyler keeps whispering _„mine"_ against his hot skin, Tyler is just too hot.

"Jesus Tyler", Josh moans as he rims his hips against Tyler's harder than expected, causing Tyler slide further down the piano until his ass meets the wooden frame. The piano makes an acute sound at that, but the moan that slips out of Tyler's mouth is the noise more than worth it.

"Oh my god, do that with your hips again", Tyler says, ignoring the loud noises their making and smashes his mouth against Josh's again. But instead of just bucking his hips up, Josh wants to try something. He's never done that before, but any kind of frictions between their crotches is fine right now. So he rolls his hips against Tyler's, causing the smaller’s butt to smash against to wooden frame and the piano to make a shrill sound again.

"Fuck- do that again, c'mon Joshie", Tyler pants against Josh's mouth. He starts grinding against Tyler's dick, who wraps his legs so hard around Josh that it wouldn't surprise him to wake up with not only bruises on his neck, but his hips too. But he is Tyler's. They are boyfriends and everybody should know that. Tyler marked him, his teeth marks are all over his neck now. For everyone to see.

Tyler makes such loud noises at the grinding, Josh doesn't even want to know how he sounds like during sex. Well, actually he wants to know. And Josh loves every single sound that escapes his mouth, he wants to hear Tyler, all of him. What he doesn't want to hear is the annoying piano, they had pretty much given up on being quiet. But Josh swears, Tyler is a million times louder than that instrument. And Josh could really just get off to that.

Their bulges are way too visible right now, but Josh really didn't care. With every roll of his hips the noise of the piano (and Tyler) gets louder, but Josh doesn't care either. He's way to focused on the steady rythm of their hips and Tyler's lips roaming over the hyper sensitive area on Josh's sweaty skin. He really wants to throw off his pants, the pressure of his dick hurting slightly. But he really can't do that, they're practically in school. 

"Josh, touch me", Tyler suddenly whines. "Please."

Josh is surprised that Tyler's pleading sounds hadn't pulled him over the edge yet, because he feels very fucking close from coming in his own pants. Tyler is such loud, whiny person when it comes to sex, and Josh is freaking down for it. He's got a loud boyfriend, fuck.

"Fuck- Tyler, baby. Are you sure?", Josh asks and looks at the moaning boy. His pupils are blown wide, his lips bitten and just as red as his cheeks, whereas his hair is a complete mess. Josh probably looks the same, and he could get totally used to that image of them.

"Yes, fuck- please", Tyler moans as he presses his own hand against his clothed cock, moaning even harder at his own touch.

"Fuckfuckfuckokay", Josh moans as he tugs down hem of Tyler's pants. Josh has always thought that he's way too shy to actually be kind of sexual active with anyone, but with Tyler it just feels so natural, so easy. He's never thought he'll ever give a boy hand job on a piano. In school. He's never thought he'd ever give anyone a hand job besides himself.

Tyler lifts his hips a bit so that Josh could unbuckle them and pull them down. Tyler's boxers are completely wet where his dick presses against the fabric, hips still bucked up and waiting to be touched.

"Joshie", Tyler moans, arms still clutching around Josh's neck. Tyler's head is thrown back, and he looks like a complete mess, hair sticking against sweaty skin, lips bitten raw. It's no surprise, this is their first time and they are literally two horny teenagers.

Josh doesn't hesitate though and puts his hand in Tyler's underwear, causing the smaller boy to buck his hips up even more. He slowly wraps his hand around the base of his cock just to get a taste of it, causing Tyler to groan loudly. The boy steadies himself by putting one hand next to him on the piano's keys, making everything a mess of moans and anharmonic music.

He quickly pulls off the boys underwear and properly wraps his hand around Tyler's cock now. To his surprise, Josh isn't grossed out or uncomfortable. He always thought he would be when being sexually involved someday, but seeing Tyler stretched out like this is anything but gross. He's probably even prettier than before.

"Your first time huh?", Josh teases laughing and slowly starts stroking Tyler's dick.

"OHHMy- ah- yours too Dun, d-don't even-", Tyler moans in between the sounds he makes through Josh's hand. But Josh just chuckles and presses his sweat slick lips against Tyler's, before letting his mouth wander downwards. He starts to nibble and suck on Tyler's neck just like Tyler's done before as he bites down on some areas. He wants Tyler's neck to be destroyed. Brendon could have his hickeys.

"Josh- I'm reallyreallyreally not going to last long", Tyler manages to say in between the moaning, Josh's lips still scraping against his neck. He feels his own dick getting neglected in his pants, so he simply pushes a hand against his own clothed cock, causing him to moan and send a shiver down Tyler's spine.

"Josh-fuckfuck", Tyler whines, hand moving over the key's hectically. "Gosh, we're so loud."

"Then be even louder, scream Tyler, scream my name. Come for me", Josh whispers against Tyler's neck without even thinking about it. He needs to come himself, his painfully hard throbbing dick still rubbing against his pants.

"Oh my-JOSH", Tyler screams loudly and eventually comes, head thrown back in pleasure. Josh's lips leave Tyler's neck, pressing a last kiss against it before he examines the mess he's done on it. There are bruises all over, purple and blue, teeth marks and spit. It's beautiful. Tyler is beautiful. The boy pants, looking completely destroyed, face red and sweaty, pants covered in his own come.

He suddenly feels a hand against his over sensitive dick, and sees Tyler pressing down a hand against his clothed crotch. He's about to shove his hand into Josh's pants, but he's just way to over-stimulated and comes right away when he sees Tyler trying to get down on him. He tries to muffle his scream, but ends up being too loud anyway when Tyler presses his hand against his crotch one last time. He's completely wet in his pants and it's extremely gross but he couldn't care less at the moment.

"Jesus Tyler", Josh pants and smiles slightly at his worn-out boyfriend. He leans forward to press a kiss against Tyler's forehead, and wraps his arms around the boy, slowly lifting him down the piano. The piano makes a noise anyway.

"Thank you Joshie, that was freaking great", Tyler whispers and smiles sweetly as gives Josh a tired kiss on his mouth. Tyler pulls up his pants quickly that are covered in his own come as well, and looks back to the piano. Now Josh sees it too. It's completely covered in Tyler's sticky come.

"Oh shit, how the hell do we-", Josh starts when suddenly a light on the corridor turns on. The both of them hear footsteps in front of the door and a loud knock. The handle suddenly gets pressed down a couple of times, before the knock appears again.

"Hello?", a loud feminine voice shouts angrily.

Josh and Tyler look at each other with a mixture of horror and grins. But then the grinning stops as well when they hear a pair of keys getting pulled out of the pocket in front of their door. They are so fucked.

"Josh, we need to clean up", Tyler whispers sharply.

"Fuck it, we have to go", Josh says and takes Tyler's hand. "Come on."

The keys are being put inside the lock, and in that moment Tyler thinks  _"fuck it"_  too. They leave the light on and the window open as they jump out of the room and onto the tree. And the worst: The piano is full of come.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok but seriously I'm so excited to read the comments you guys, I put all into this chapter
> 
> I apologize again jesus, but I'm not sorry to have written this too sooo... yeah
> 
> Have a lovely day/evening/night/morning/whateberwhenyoureadthis :)


	10. My boyfren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS MY CONCERT WAS ON 11/9/2016 SO FUCKING SIIIIICK
> 
> And sorry for that late update but HERE YA GO
> 
> AND THX FOR 2000 HITS I LOVE YOU GUYS <3<3<3

**Boyfren: Jish**

**Boyfren: I went to the music room**

**Boyfren: THE PIANO IS CLEAN**

**Boyfren: WE'RE SO SCREWED**

Josh giggles as he receives Tyler's text messages. After yesterday's "incident" in the music room, the both of them agreed that they at least had to clean that piano after fleeing from that charwoman. So Tyler quickly went there before school started to clean it since he has the keys, but apparently that isn't necessary anymore. That's why Tyler still isn't sitting next to Josh in class, and instead is probably running down the hallway and freaking out. Josh instead sits in class, phone laying in his lap and grinning like an idiot. He's about to write back, when the door flies open and Tyler stumbles in.

"Sorry", he quickly mumbles to their teacher and quickly makes his way to his seat next to Josh. He flops down on the chair with a flushed face, and as soon as their teacher's gaze leaves them, Tyler gives Josh a glare.

"We're so screwed", Tyler whispers, face still red. Josh just couldn't help and grin at him.

"Nobody knows that it was us, babe", Josh whispers calming only for Tyler to hear, laying a hand on his upper thigh. After yesterday's events, Josh can't think of anything but his hands all over Tyler's body, his mouth all over his neck. Every time he stares at Tyler's hickey covered neck, he can't help but smile widely because now Tyler really belongs to Josh. And Josh is Tyler's only. They are boyfriends now, so putting a hand on his upper thigh is more than normal. Josh still can't believe what happened that evening, it is too good to be real.

"But she knows I have the keys", Tyler whispers back, his own hand coming up to lay on top of Josh's, squeezing it slightly. They haven't told anyone that they are together yet, not even Brendon. How even? They are a couple since a day. But Josh doesn't have a problem with people knowing. Not at all. He  _wants_  them to know, wants them to know where Tyler belongs. And it seems as if Tyler shares the same opinion, since their hands are intertwined and not planning on going anywhere else.

"Then people will know what I did to you. And where I did it", Josh whispers cheekily as he leans forward a bit, causing Tyler to blush furiously. He slaps Josh on the upper leg playfully and grins.

"You into that Dun?", Tyler asks demanding and nudges Josh's sides playfully.

"I'm into you", Josh counters and leans forward even more. Their faces are just inches apart, and Josh is literally about to kiss that grin from Tyler's face when he realizes that they are still in class. Their teacher suddenly clears her throat loudly, so they quickly back up and take their hands from each other embarrassed. Some of their class mates give them weird looks, others didn't even notice. And then there's Brendon wiggling his eyebrows at them. Of course he does that.

"Ok, may I start class? That be wonderful", Mrs. Benson says kind of pissed and sits down at her desk. Normally she's a very kind and calm person, but now she seems angry. 

"Before we start class, I have to talk to you", she says abruptly and lets her gaze wander.

Josh immediately gets that weird feeling in his guts and just hopes that what she's about to say isn't about the whole piano thing. He quickly looks at Tyler who seems to think the same thing, but just shrugs with pressed together lips.

"Yesterday... Well, let's put it like this. When I arrived in school this morning, one of our charwomen called me."

And Josh immediately knows they are screwed. He gives Tyler a look, who seems to silently pray that she doesn't know any details.

"She said that- well....she saw some people break in our music room. Through the windows. And that they made... kind of a mess. I won't explain it any further, but from that mess they made I highly doubt that it were burglars."

The class looks at each other confused, but Tyler just sits there with pressed together lips as he tries not to look too guilty. Josh instead probably enjoys it more than he should though, and grins slightly as he lets his hand wander to tightly grip Tyler's upper thigh again. The boy winces at that but keeps looking at their teacher. Josh just can't help but drag his thumb along the inner side of Tyler's thigh, way too close to his crotch than it is appropriate to do in class. Tyler's eyes widen in disbelief, and his hand quickly rushes forward to clasp Josh's. Their gazes meet, and Tyler's eyes kind of giveaway that he enjoys this way too much as well.

"You tease", he huffs under his breath and let's his boyfriend keep caressing his thigh.

"I want to kiss you", Josh suddenly whispers so quietly that Tyler isn't even sure if he understood that right. He opens his mouth but Mrs. Benson immediately shushes the whole class that at some point had started talking.

"All I want to say is that if any of you did that- or if that happens again, I have to collect the keys to the room I gave some students. I'm sorry, but that better doesn't happen twice", she says and looks at some people in particular. Luckily, Tyler isn't included.

Josh's hand keeps wandering up and down Tyler's thigh as the class breaks out in a loud discussion again. The boy starts to shiver under his touch but at the same time tries to move away, causing Josh to grin even wider.

"Joshie, not in class", Tyler giggles and grabs Josh's hand again to stop it from moving.

"I want to kiss you so so so badly", Josh whispers again and pouts at Tyler.

"I want to kiss you too", Tyler whispers. "Especially after... yesterday."

The last part is added shyly and causes Josh's stomach to tighten in excitement. Tyler is just the cutest, most adorable thing in the whole word and Josh really just wants to reach out and press sweet kisses all over his face.

"You're cute"

"You're a dork", Tyler giggles and Josh laughs out loudly, voice drowning in the class' conversation. 

"Oh, am I?", Josh says and pokes Tyler in the ticklish parts of his stomach. Tyler shrieks loudly and shimmies away from his touch. In that moment, Brendon turns around in his seat in front of them and gives them a funny face.

"Did you two fall on your necks?", Brendon snorts as his eyes roam their bodies.

"Yes, very very hard", Tyler giggles towards Brendon, still trying to dodge Josh's pokes.

"Oh, I bet you were very very hard when you got that", Brendon says jokingly and points at the bruised areas on their necks. Josh must admit that both of their necks look devastated, but that only makes it hotter. Seeing Tyler and know he did that to him. These purple blemishes would stay there for a while now, and every time Josh would look at him he'd remember Tyler's moans. Everybody should know that they belong to each other. Tyler blushes heavily, yesterday's events flooding their minds again. If Brendon only knew.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say the two of broke into school. Would be very fitting since yesterday seemed to be very adventurous for the two of you anyway", Brendon says feverishly and gets slapped by Ryan at that.

"OOOOW"

"BRENDON", Ryan whisper-shouts and gives Tyler and Josh an apologetic face. "His manners aren't the best, I'm sorry."

Tyler and Josh just look at each other awkwardly, because well- Brendon is kinda right, but Josh can't admit that. They don't know what to say for a second and blush heavily, before looking back to Brendon who squeezes his eyes at them suspiciously. There is a short moment where nobody says something, but you could see that Brendon starts to connect the pieces by his facial expression. Suddenly he snorts again, furrowing his brows in amusement.

"Oh my god, are you two fucking serious?", Brendon asks confused, waiting for one of them to react.

"SERIOUSLY?" Ok apparently he figured out.

"Well, I can explain-", Josh starts, even though he can't actually explain it. Tyler just sits there with pressed together lips and a bright red face that doesn't go unnoticed by Brendon.

"Wait Tyler, why- But what kind of mess-", Brendon slowly says, eyes squeezing tighter the longer he thinks about it. And Josh just wishes Brendon would drop the topic, but then his face falls and he gives them an unreadable glare before bursting out in the probably loudest laughter Josh has ever heard.

"OH MY- JEEZ- HA", Brendon shouts and throws his head back as he laughs uncontrollably. "YOU TWO DIRTY LITTLE SHITS"

Tyler buries his head in his hands embarrassed, but Josh just chuckles and lays a soothing hand on his knee.

"BRENDON", their teachers shouts, causing the class to fall silent. Brendon's eyes start to tear up, but eventually turns around to face her. 

"What is so funny?", she asks pissed, but Brendon wouldn't stop laughing so he just gets up and leaves the room quickly, cry-laughing in tears. Some students chuckle, so do Josh and even Tyler. 

"I have never seen him laugh that hard", Josh chuckles and turns around to Tyler, whose face isn't that red anymore.

"This is so embarrassing", Tyler groans and clutches a hand against his forehead.

"I'm sorry babe", Josh whispers and gives Tyler a small apologetic smile. "I know feel uncomfortable. You know, if you want to we can stop with... You know- like- uh."

Tyler grabs Josh's hand and gives him his puppy eyes. "No- god no, Josh. I mean, it's a bit embarrassing that Brendon found out like that- but... No, please. I mean, it's actually kind of- hot.... well that he knows", Tyler mumbles, last words slipping out of his mouth quickly. Josh can't believe Tyler just said that, and grins at him with squishy eyes. 

"I want to kiss so badly, you have no idea. God, Tyler", Josh says one more time, and earns the most loving face from Tyler. Their hands are still intertwined, and the longer they hold onto each other the more their hands seem to melt together. Josh can't remember when it started to feel so natural to touch Tyler. 

"Then do it", Tyler whispers ever so slightly. Josh freezes for a second, but Tyler just nods. He can't believe that Tyler just said that. Just the thought that he wants the people to know about their relationship too makes Josh's mind go blank. Tyler is just too darn precious for this world. Josh once again can't believe he's so lucky to have him. To call him his boyfriend.

"Josh, I'm not afraid to be with you. You know you mean the world to me. I want people to know, Josh- I belong to you, and you belong to me. We're boyfrens", Tyler says shyly. Before Josh's mind could even process Tyler's confession, he feels his face cupped by Tyler's soft hands. His heart beats faster at what he is about to do, and then he feels their lips connecting firmly just when their teacher announces the start of their class. 

Tyler just kissed Josh. Right on his lips. In front of their whole class.

\----

"Did you see their faces?", Tyler giggles as he drags Josh through the hallway after their first two classes, hands intertwined again.

"Yes, oh my god. Did you see that blonde girl? Jenna? She looked like she's going to kill me any second. She's got a major crush on you, let me tell you", Josh giggles.

"Mhmm, I don't care about her, I have you", Tyler says with a huge smile on his face and stops them to draw Josh into another sweet kiss.

Everything has happened so fast. They suddenly are boyfriends, they kiss in school openly and are doing the dumb couple stuff Josh has always hated. It feels like Tyler and him are a couple for at least a year now, even though it's not even a day they officially have a relationship. It's crazy how natural it feels with Tyler. A _boy_. Something Josh has never thought would ever happen either. But he's happy, more than happy. It's a feeling Josh never thought he'd ever have. But now that he has it, he doesn't want to miss it.

Josh smiles into the kiss and strokes the side of Tyler's face lovingly, ignoring the weird gazes they get. Because honestly, he doesn't care about those people even the slightest.

"Hey, you know what?", Josh whispers against Tyler's lips.

"Mhm?"

"It's probably really random, but I was thinking about dying my hair a different colour."

Tyler backs away and pouts at him as he runs a hand through Josh's pale reddish mop of hair lovingly, fingers playing with strands of it.

"But I love your floofy red hair", Tyler says and sticks out his tongue out adorably.

"I said I'd dye it, not burn it", Josh chuckles, earning a cheeky grin from Tyler.

"Make it a cool colour at least?"

"Always! I was thinking about blue, what do you think?", Josh smiles and slings his arms around Tyler's waist, drawing them closer together. 

"Aww Joshie, you'd look so good with blue hair", Tyler grins with squishy eyes as he slings his arms around Josh's neck as well, pecking him on the lips quickly. "I like the idea, actually. You need to do it."

"Do you wanna dye it?", Josh suggests, causing Tyler so widen his eyes happily.

"Can I? Seriously?", he asks excitedly.

"Sure you can. I mean, you're the one who has to look at me the whole time after all."

"Omg yes, that'd be so cool. Thank you for trusting me with your floofy hair", he says jokingly, causing Josh so smile widely.

They're still standing next to the lockers in the hallway, but Tyler and Josh are in their own little bubble and don't realize anything that is happening around them. The sounds surrounding them is just as blurry as the people walking by. Every time Tyler and Josh are sharing a moment, everything else is forgotten. It keeps amazing Josh.

“Did you already buy the dye?”

“Nahh, not yet. Needed to let my beautiful boyfriend know about it at first. Wanna buy it together though?”, Josh smiles down to Tyler, who gives him a quirky smile at the compliment.

“Yeah, that’d be so sick. Want to do it as quick as possible now. Honestly, I’m pretty excited right now. You’ll look even more handsome with that sick hair. I mean- if that’s even possible”, Tyler grins and runs a hand through Josh’s hair once more, fingers massaging his sculpt softly.

Honestly, it’s so sad that today is school. Josh really just wants to take Tyler and cuddle him the whole day, press lazy kisses against his temple and tell him how beautiful he is over and over again.

“You’re the cutest”, Josh smiles and pecks his lips.

“You’re cuter”, Tyler says as he entangles his hand from Josh’s hair, using his thumb to follow the outline of Josh’s lips carefully.  He sighs deeply before locking their eyes again.

“I really wish that we could have today for us. School is honestly a spoilsport.”

“Totally”, Josh agrees laughing, as an idea pops up in his head.

“Wait”, he then interrupts and furrows his brows, actually considering his idea. It’s probably dumb and Tyler won’t join him anyways, but he could at least try to convince him.

“What’s up?”

“Skip school with me.”

“What?”

“I mean…”, Josh starts and rubs the back of his head. “Let’s make this a day for us. Only this time, we haven’t missed once in school. We sure won’t fall back if we skip those classes at least once. Dye my hair?”

Tyler seems unsure of what to say, so Josh leans forward and pressed quick, small kisses along his neck and jaw playfully, causing Tyler to giggle. There are so many couples in school that make out in school on a daily basis, so Josh and Tyler don’t stand out the slightest. And even if they would, Josh wouldn’t care and just kiss Tyler harder.

“Don’t you see how ill I am? I think I have to go home, the fever gets too much! Tyler! Bring me home? Pretty please”, Josh huffs out theatrically as he keeps pressing kisses all over Tyler’s jaw and face, causing the boy to giggle even harder.

“Poor boy, now I can feel the fever too”, Tyler gives in as Josh presses their foreheads together, noses bumping against each other’s slightly.

“Is that a yes?”

“Joshua William Dun, I will blame only you if we get into trouble”, Tyler sighs with a smile.

“But it’s a yes? Troublemaker Tyler Joseph is back in town?”, Josh laughs, alluding the last part to yesterday evening when Tyler had told him about their  _“adventurous adventures”_.

“Oh shush”, Tyler snickers and slaps Josh’s arm playfully. “But yeah, it’s a yes.”

“Sweet”, Josh grins and kisses Tyler on the lips harshly.

“Remember, you’re ill. You can’t kiss me, otherwise I’ll get sick too”, his boyfriend teases, and squeezes Josh’s upper arm sweetly.

“Oh no- you’ve got that wrong. I’m love-sick, that means you have to kiss me extra much”, Josh counters cheekily and plants some kisses on Tyler’s mouth again. He can’t believe he really just said something that sappy, but Tyler just laughs at it and returns the kisses.

“Oh ok. If it’s like that- I mean- we have to whole day”, Tyler chuckles and winks. Josh’s stomach fills with familiar warmth and now he’s just giddy and excited again. He totally didn’t miss that wink. He totally didn’t miss the glistering eyes. Tyler will be the death of him.

“M’ excited”, Josh purrs and intertwines their hands. His heart is beating fast again, not necessarily because he's excited of what might happen today. Just the thought that he has Tyler all for himself today makes him insanely happy. Even if he'd just stare at Tyler the whole day he'd be happy. He'd watch his brown warm eyes crinkling up when he laughs, his pointy nose scrunch and his pouty pink lips curl into a smile. Josh loves these little things Tyler does, these little things that make Tyler- well Tyler.

Suddenly the bell rings shrilly, announcing the end of their break and the beginning of the third period. Well, the third period for everyone else. Not for Tyler and Josh. Instead of walking towards the class with the others, Josh and Tyler swim against the stream and make their way through the crowd towards to door. Tyler giggles the whole time when Josh drags him along the hallway, jumping enthusiastically every now and then.

"Joooosh", Tyler laughs as they run down the stairs. Josh is full of adrenaline and happiness, it's crazy. He can't remember the last time he's felt like that. He just wants to pick Tyler up and swirl him around and tell him how much he means to him. Wants to babble out everything that comes to his mind, even if he'd just said how pretty he is a dozen of times.

"Ty- come here", Josh laughs as they reach the end of the stairs. Tyler scrunches his eyebrows, but when Josh stands in front of him on the ground, Tyler gets the hint.

"Jump up here."

"Are you sure?", Tyler giggles behind him on the stairs.

"Completely", Josh says when he feels Tyler's strong arms sling around his neck from behind. His legs follow shortly after, and in one fell swoop Tyler is clinging onto Josh's back. Josh's arms come around his legs to steady him. With that they head off the campus, both laughing uncontrollably as Josh gives Tyler a piggyback ride the whole way to the next Walmart. Tyler keeps pressing kisses in Josh's hair and the side of Josh's face, both grinning like idiots. Some people give them weird looks, but they ignore them. When Tyler is with him, everything is ok. Tyler makes him feel so special and wanted, so  _loved_.

 _"I love you so much Tyler. I do. I do love you"_ , Josh thinks the whole way he carries his boyfriend. Thinks it every time Tyler kisses him, every time his arms embrace him even harder from behind. And Josh really means it. He loves Tyler.

God he loves him so much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOA
> 
> Hope ya had a good time

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave feedback and also, if you want any ideas how I could continue the story. Maybe I use some of your ideas to make the story more readable for you and more fun for me to write xxx :)  
> Plus I dunno about updates and stuff, I try to do it regular but school won't make it possible so please be patient.


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